Getting Help Doesn’t Have to Hurt

You may have noticed a lot of things are slipping around here. The sink is full of dishes, my child looks like patient zero for a zombie infection (the jelly stains on his face just add charm- though it could be spaghetti sauce but that was two days ago and I am sure he has had a bath since then), and I am huddled in the corner trying not to cry.

It is hard to ask for help as a mom. And I find that it is even harder to ask for help as a SAHM. Here, my husband goes every day to a job he hates to provide a life for us (and I am thankful everyday for that) and I get to stay with my son, watch all his milestones and play with him, and be his teacher and guide. But there are more days than not that being the SAHM is crushing me. My son doesn’t talk (well, he says “no” and “dooooooom” but nothing that is useful) and so many of our days are filled with his rage and anger and me not understanding him. My son is also quite physical so it is a constant push to keep up with him and my body just isn’t capable of that right now. Then there is my husband and his soul crushing job that wears him down. I am surrounded by noise but always feel so alone. And when I tried to talk to my husband last night about all of this three things happened: I started sobbing, we knocked our heads together trying to hug (we are so out of practice apparently) and I have a black eye now, and my son woke up and then fell out of bed so no sleep in this house last night. Toddler always comes first so Husband went to deal with him and I laid in bed trying to remember all my blessings. I only came up with a few but they were the few that mattered.

This, of course, can’t continue. No one should have to feel so lost when surrounded by people who care. And that is the crux of the issue, why do moms (me) have such a problem asking for help? We care for everyone but never mention ourselves. Which is crazy since, as moms, we should feel open talking to other moms about our problems. This is why I love Athens Mothers’ Center. It is a group of people who care but more importantly, understand. I times are rough for everyone and times are uncertain for everyone but, by banding together, we can create for ourselves (and each other) a powerful support network.

I challenge each of you to ask a mom friend of yours this week if she is doing ok. It can be someone you just met or someone you have known forever but ask how they are doing and if they need anything. The answers may surprise you but bring you closer as friends and as mothers. I myself reached out to an old friend and rekindled a friendship. It is nice to get out of my rut and see things beyond the stuff right in front of me. We are strong and we can do this, it just sometimes takes a little help.

Written by: Kimberly W., mother to Isaac, and is going off to do something she enjoys