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I want you to know, I AM your biggest fan.
Without fail.
It may not always seem this way. But I promise you I am.
Sometimes it’s obvious.
For example… when I’m jumping up and down at your soccer game screaming, “YES!-You’ve-got-it!-That’s-it!-You’re-almost-THERE!”
Or when I’m shouting “go-Go-GO!” at the edge of the pool during a swim meet (even though it is evident you can’t hear me as you quickly glide, OR slowly struggle - it doesn’t matter! - across the water.)
Occasionally, you might feel my stalker-ish-like obsession as I am s-l-o-w-l-y sneaking by your classroom door at school. (So I can be sure to proudly catch a glimpse of you in action and maybe get a chance to throw out a subtle wave hello!)
I assure you, it’s true! I AM most definitely and without fail, your biggest fan.
I Understand It’s Not Always Obvious.
I know there are times when it might not be apparent to you.
In fact, sometimes I’m certain you most definitely don’t feel I am your ultimate fan.
Such as the times when I can’t make your sporting events because we over booked our family schedule, or I have to work, or it’s just TOO hard to get everyone fed, bathed, dressed and in the car in enough time to make it there.
Or those days when I yell louder (than I probably should) because you haven’t picked up your dirty clothes after I had asked you One. Too. Many. Times. to please pick them up.
Maybe my “#1 Fan Status” isn’t as noticeable during those weeks when I’m personally struggling and seem a little short, because (just so you know) I am only human, and now and then my mood may fall closer to the “cranky” side of the personality scale.
But it IS true. I stand firm that I AM, by far, your ultimate fan.
Truth be Told…
I aim to be your biggest advocate 100% of the time, but sometimes (I admit) I am not always clear on how to help you.
I always want what’s best.
But I don’t always know what’s best.
I try not to worry about these times.
And I hope you don’t see all the difficulties I often occasionally have making decisions.
From time-to-time (again, just so you know), as your ultimate fan, I do try to back-up my decisions with research.
- I’ve spent hours surfing Google to explain things like: why you all of the sudden decided you didn’t want to take a bottle any more and how I could change this.
- I’ve spent countless days of mom-to-mom phone conversations, considering what’s the best decision for our family in terms of slumber parties, and sleepovers, and play dates at homes whose parents I don’t know.
- I’ve even read books galore on the topic of parenting, and mothering, and families, and discipline, and education, and whatever else I think I need to know about that effects you - the objects of my obsession.
Yet research doesn’t always give me the clearest picture. Actually, sometimes (more often then not?), investigating these things causes me to question my decisions even more. And often my research turns up multiple COMPLETELY different solutions to the same difficulties and problems I am fact-finding to solve.
So on occasion, I just follow my gut.
And, truth be told, I make mistakes.
I’ll admit this. I know this. Because - as they say - hindsight is 20/20.
But those mistakes by no means, shouldn’t suggest that I am not still your absolute greatest admirer.
Your Biggest Fan and So Much More…
In fact, I will make the claim, that one of the best fans and advocates for you to have is by far your own mother (or father).
Because a mom is more than just a devoted, enthusiastic, supportive groupie.
A mom is far better than a fanatically, obsessive admirer.
A mom is So. Much. More.
As a mom, I want what’s best for you. Even if it means that what’s best might be harder.
As a mom, I always have you at the top of my to-do list. (As you grow up, you’ll unfortunately learn that not everyone always does.)
And as a mom, more than anything, you can always count on me to be there for you when things get hard or don’t go as planned.
And lastly, so you know (if you didn’t already), my love trumps any disappointment you may think I have in you.
Because to me, even when it doesn’t seem like it, you are my pride and my joy. And…
I am, by far, your biggest fan.
Love always,
Mom
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Leave a Comment: In what ways to you show and tell your child you are their greatest fan?
Note: Are you interested in learning more about being an effective advocate for your child? On Thursday, September 22nd, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers hosted a webinar as part of their Parenting and Family Webinar Series entitled:How to be Your Child’s Champion: Building Collaborative Relationships With the People in Your Child’s World. Access this webinar and many more for FREE as an NAMC member.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Such a wonderful tribute and oh so true!
Thanks Kim… it’s posts like these that are easy to write - since they are straight from my heart!
Love this. You totally made me cry, Kate.
So glad you enjoyed my “letter” Sara… sorry to add some tears to your day though!
A wonderful post! I think I need to borrow it, so many perfect points!
Thanks Julie. I’m sure there are still points I have missed… because (in my head) there is an unlimited amount of things I could say to my kids. Yet these points seem to be the “reoccurring” points in my mind. I’d love to hear if there is anything you or any others might add?
Love the “I want what’s best for you…although it may be harder”. Harder on both ends of mom and kid. Sometimes you wonder if all the hard work to encourage independence and discipline us really worth the battles, but it will pay off someday! Well said and more encouragement go keep it up.
Yes, definitely harder on both ends when it comes to wanting what’s best for our children Melani! I do hope it pays off in the end… And I think it will, especially if we as parents have time to reflect on our actions and learn from our struggles and our successes.
WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL!
Thank you Luke!
Kate -
You have such a talent for voicing all of things that I feel but can’t find the words to articulate. Such a great blog!
As I read this, I saw so much of my own mother in it…I aspire to be the advocate (for my kids) that she was for us! I echo what Melani said, too, - my 6 year old stuggled with our recent move and it made me question our decisions but I kept coming back to “what is right, if often not easy.”
Much easier said than done isn’t it? It’s something I have to continually remind myself…
Oh I totally love this. I am definitely my children’s biggest fan too, sometimes a crazed-stalkerish fan but always a fan :).
Moms are supposed to be a little “stalkerish”… aren’t they??? Glad you enjoyed it Jessica.
I loved this Kate… it got me thinking about writing a similar letter to my kids. I can relate to being a superfan mom as well… so often the evening conversation with my husband is about the new thing my kids said/did/learned that day… their continual development never ceases to amaze us. Your letter made me want to hug them and remind them how proud I am to be their Mom. Wonderfully articulated and so touching!
Sometimes we all need a little reminder about how proud we are of our kids - I know I especially do when I am having a rough week. I’ve read this letter a million times as I wrote it and a million more as I continue to receive comments about it here on the Mothers Central Blog, and every time I read it makes me tear up. Every time.
Sometimes I feel like my entire blog is one big letter to my children, my attempt to share with them that no matter how frustrated or tired I might be, despite my lack of enthusiasm and smiles at times, I truly love my girls so incredibly much for how amazing they are. My blog is essentially dedicated to them
So I love this post, because it made me realize the importance of telling them this every day or showing them every day how I feel, now and tomorrow!
Thanks Kim! Blogging is such a great way to maintain our memories and remind us of the things we want to tell and teach our children everyday. To me, blogging is kind of like keeping a good old-fashion journal (which I used to do as a kid) - the difference being that I am not starting off each entry with: “Dear Diary.”
So well put!
It’s hard for our kids to understand just how hard we are trying to support them when that support sometimes looks like something that isn’t very fun for them.
It IS very hard (inexplicably hard) to share that frustration with our kids. My oldest is only eight, and I really hope that I can re-share this post with her over and over during these times when I think she might doubt my support.
Loved this! I am the mom of 5 kids (a 16 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter and 3 stepchildren-16 year old twin boys and an 11 year old girl). My whole world revolves around them. I am pursuing an online bachelor degree and I am taking a college course this semester that is a communications class. Per the syllabus, “In this course, we will explore rhetorical accomplishments (and implications) of fandom. As such, we will gain enhanced understandings of concepts such as identification, identity, culture, public sphere, popular culture, power, fandom, nostalgia, collective memory, and convergence culture.”
One of our assignments is to develop a facebook fan page. I’ve thought long and hard over what that page would be. I don’t watch much TV; currently the only shows I really watch are Parenthood (but the new season doesn’t start until September, and Criminal Minds (which I love, but it would be a boring fan page—not to mention there are already a ton of them!) The sports that I am a fan of are all high school sports, and my kids are done with their summer sports and don’t start games for their fall sports until the end of August.
I decided to use a facebook page that I already created and that I am very passionate about called “For Moms” https://www.facebook.com/groups/formoms/. You could say it is based on being a fan of motherhood. Two years ago one of my friends made a post of Facebook that she was frustrated with her daughter, who was (in her words) “committing academic suicide.” She was reaching out to friends for advice. Her daughter was on punishment so had no access to Facebook to see her mother’s cry for help, but an idea began to develop in my head. Why not create a group for moms to be able to reach out to each other for ideas, to offer advice, ask for advice and to cry out to others who would understand without making individual phone calls, without paying for an hour of therapy and without posting the question for their children and the whole world to see?
I love my facebook page but was not sure if using it to promote my fandom made sense until I found this website and read “A Fan Letter to My Children.”
Thank You!!!
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post Shannon. It was written nearly a year ago yet it STILL applies. I think that your For Moms group page sounds really similar to an online version of a “Mothers Center.” The values behind the Mothers’ Center culture are based on the idea that there is no one right answer for everyone and that when people are accepted for who they are and they feel heard, they are more likely to find solutions and take actions that are in line with the best interest of their family members and not based on fear, judgment or a need to “get it right.”
As mothers and parents we most definitely are our children’s biggest fans. And as their fans and parents - we also need support and encouragement. Good luck with your assignment and your on-line “fan page.” I hope you stop by the Mothers Central Blog again to read our weekly posts on motherhood and parenting