Already I was beginning to feel frustrated as a parent.
It was shortly after my kids returned back to school following a long winter break. Our “return to normalcy” after the holidays was taking its toll on me. Over the past couple days I had raised my voice one-too-many times and the trend only seemed to continue, with no apparent end in sight.
I stood - coffee in hand - dictating spelling words to my daughter, that she in turn continued to misspell. It wasn’t a big deal, I knew she’d eventually familiarize herself with them. Learning new spelling words takes time and this was only her first attempt. However, I glanced her direction and noticed tears welling up in her eyes. Why was she so frustrated?
“Honey, don’t be so hard on yourself!” I impatiently responded.
My own frustration and tolerance levels were at an all time low from the previous 24-hours of:
- Not much sleep
- Too much work
- Hunger (due to my own inability to eat breakfast yet)
- In general, a lingering feeling of too much to do in too little of time
My daughter looked up at me and instantaneously I saw myself reflected across the kitchen counter. I abruptly realized how similar my own response tended to be when met with an unexpected challenge.
My oldest daughter expects a lot from herself. As I listened to my frustrated words back to her, in my mind I also thought about all the work I hadn’t gotten done over the holidays.
I need to remember to take my own advice!
And I mentally told myself: “Momma, don’t be so hard on yourself“
Come to think of it, there’s a lot I can learn from the plethora of “advice” I have dished out to my own children over the preceding few days. And it is among these lessons that I decided to create my own personal 2013 resolution list.
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Motherly Advice: “It’s time for bed. You need to get a good night’s sleep.”
What is a good night’s sleep? It seams (after googling the phrase “How much sleep do we really need”) that experts often tell you there is no magic number and that much of it is dependent on age and individuality. What I can say with the utmost of certainty is: Going to bed at midnight and waking up at 5:30 a.m. (for me) is Not. Enough. Sleep.
Resolution: This momma needs to get an earlier bedtime.
Motherly Advice: “Eat your Meal.” (and ) “No. More. Snacks.”
I am horrible about remembering my own breakfast because often I am busy making sure my kids are eating theirs. As a parent I know how important it is to have a good meal in my kids’ bellies before beginning a long day at school. Additionally, I tell my growing 6-year-old more times than I can count “NO. You can’t have another snack!” When in reality, my own “snacking judgement” is not always too good.
Resolution: Less snacks and better eating habits for myself (not just my children) is a must.
Motherly Advice: “Either soccer OR football. We can’t do both.“
Sometimes it can be hard to trim down the extensive list of activities available to children these days. There’s music classes, dance classes, and an overabundance of sports to participate in. Sure, all these things can be fun and add to a child’s overall life lessons and experiences. However, our children can’t do everything… and unfortunately (or fortunately - depending on which way you look at it) neither can I.
Resolution: Pay more attention to where my time is spent and consider paring down my own “extracurricular activities.”
Motherly Advice: “You are amazing - I love you…”
I try to tell my children how much I love them whenever I get the chance. I want them to know that they are loved unconditionally and that I notice their attempts to follow my “motherly advice.” I want them to know and trust that I will always be their biggest fan and help build their confidence while also keeping them grounded in reality.
Resolution: I need to remember to give myself a much need pat on the back sometimes too.
~
We’ve all heard the rule “You have to save yourself first before you are able to save others.” Often I forget that this also applies to myself. Over and over I tell my children to: “Listen your Mother!” However maybe…
I need to start practicing what I preach? How about you?
Leave a Comment: What advice have you found yourself telling your child(ren) that (in retrospect) you should be listening to yourself? What New Years’ resolutions did you make this year?
