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“Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born.”
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It was nothing like I expected it would be.
There had been no racing to the hospital. No epidural. And… delivering the placenta - well, Surprise! … Really? I have to push again? (Somehow I must have fully missed that concept in Lamaze class.)
In general, the birth of my daughter (my 1st child) at 5:22 p.m., on a chilly Friday in December was nothing like I had envisioned.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… (I remember counting under my breath and on my fingers as I sat awaiting her arrival in the hospital) … 5 days until Christmas Day, 4 until Christmas Eve. I really wanted to be back home before Christmas Eve, that was my primary (in hindsight - somewhat laughable) goal beyond just the healthy delivery of our child.
Plan, What Plan?
My daughter was brought into this world “planned” in an “unplanned way.”
At my 36-week check-up, having gained a very unhealthy amount of weight throughout my pregnancy, my doctor surprisingly announced that “it was time for this baby to come out.” This was the first breach (of many) in our meticulously thought-out birth plan.
We quickly “reworked” our birth plan and scheduled my induction for around noon two days later.
On the big day, my husband and I nervously walked into the hospital registration area - my bag packed with cute nightgowns, my hair pulled up nicely, my make-up applied extra carefully (for all the photo ops), and a huge smile on my face (because finally, I was going get some of this extra weight off my body).
After an hour or so in registration we were taken to a tiny holding room (not yet our final birthing suite) and I was given my gown. Around 3:30 a.m., still sitting in the itty-bitty bed (hooked up to a monitor but yet to begin the induction process) I felt my 1st contraction.
It was beginning, and I hadn’t even been induced (This was the second transgression in our birth plan.)
Around 4 it was confirmed I had dilated to nearly 8 cm.
By 4:30 it was evident that I had missed the open window for an epidural.
(Yet another violation in our plan.)
By 4:40 I was quickly wheeled to my birthing suite.
And by 5:22 my 1st child, my beautiful little girl was born… but at the time, I remember all I could think about was “Really? I still had to deliver the placenta?”
No, my daughter’s birth was absolutely N.O.T.H.I.N.G. like I expected it to be.
Left image photo credit: Kim Fordham Photography
The New Plan, There is No Plan
That first night in the hospital as parents (though we didn’t know it yet) my husband I were given our very first glimpse of just how unpredictable and unplanned parenting (and life) really could be.
Nearly 10 years later, looking back on the event that would forever change who I was and who I would become … it is hard not to get a little misty-eyed, while also smiling widely at the ridiculously naive idea that I could somehow fully plan for the birth of my first child.
The reality is: Most of the things that I packed in my hospital bag - never got used.
The reality is: My hair and make-up were not worth the effort prior to delivering a baby.
The reality is: The excessive weight I had gained did not “slip off.”
I took a leap of faith. I entered motherhood without much experience (but don’t we all?), and I reacted to the idea of becoming a parent in the same way I would have reacted to any new situation (before becoming a parent) - by pretending like I could grasp some control over it.
The only thing that turned out as planned? —> We were home for Christmas Eve (where I counted my blessings after the birth of our healthy baby).
Yes, when I became a mother I was forever changed.
On the day I walked into the hospital, I was ready for my pregnancy to be over. What I didn’t anticipate and hadn’t understood was that delivering the baby wasn’t the end…
It was just the beginning.
Leave a Comment: Did you have a “birth plan?” Did it go as intended?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
My birth plan was just “get the baby out” so I wasn’t surprised or disappointed by anything that happened! I think “birth plans” are nice in theory, but they can also stress women out unnecessarily. E arrived without drugs, but I didn’t intend on that-she just came out too fast. S arrived with an epidural, which was so wonderful that I even remarked during it, “no wonder people have lots of kids.” I know some births are agonizing for people, so I’m very thankful that mine were relatively easy. And I agree that the hard part definitely comes after they’re born!
At the time, I don’t think I even considered what I had been silently planning in my mind as a “birth plan.” I just think I had a very solid idea of my expectations (which in no way, shape or form really happened - LOL).
So - does this mean that you’re up for many more kids as long as an epidural is in store???
I think I thought it was going to be a lot more painful then it was. Don’t get me wrong, it was painful, but I was in sort of a state of shock! Labor amnesia! I don’t think “many” are in order, but we’ll see!
This brought back memories of my own birthing plan. My plan was not to deliver anything BESIDES a baby and a placenta. I am very thankful for discrete nurses!
I happy to hear that at least SOMEONE was informed about the arrival of the placenta
My birth plan definitely did not include my daughter being born six days late….on my husband’s ex-wife’s birthday.
I can’t IMAGINE 6 DAYS LATE! All my kids came 1-3 weeks early. (I think I just “cook ‘em” faster)