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“Just you wait, when that baby comes around…
life is going to be SO different.”
That phrase (or some version of it) was probably said (or implied) to me by friends and family members (maybe even a few strangers on the street) more times than I can count prior to the birth of each of my children.
I will admit to being a tad annoyed with this repetitive warning and often irritated by its implications towards my parenting inexperience. More than once I found myself wanting to reply back, “Of course things will change! I get that!” (Even though I didn’t completely “get it.”)
Why couldn’t someone tell me something I didn’t already know?
With nearly a decade of parental experience now under my belt, I have been accumulating a laundry list of the many (much more useful) things I feel people could have instead forewarned me about as an expectant mother…
#1: Which is Better - An Empty Box OR An Expensive Toy?
Actually, this question is best answered by first asking: What is a Toy? Which then could be subsequently defined as: An object for a child to play with.
This is an important definition to remember. Why couldn’t someone have pointed out to me that boxes (and other objects you tend to discard as “junk”) can be much more cost efficient than most store bought toys, while also typically having a significantly longer impact on your child’s attention span? (This lesson could have saved me a small fortune in VERY expensive boxes.)
#2: The Scary Reality of Laundry
Word to the wise: As your family grows, invest in a good, quiet, and QUICK washer and dryer duo because… children increase laundry exponentially.
This point unfortunately did not become glaringly obvious until after the birth of my third child (and after the purchase of our current less-than-desirable washer and dryer set). Had I been instructed on this earlier, not only might I be spending less time doing laundry, but my children would also have some amazing boxes to play with! (See point #1 above.)
#3: Life IS Messy. Period.
I used to consider myself a clean person. I guess I still do, however my standards have been lowered changed. When kids are involved, one’s home can potentially go from spotlessly clean to full blown disaster in a matter of seconds.
I wish someone could have better convinced me at an earlier point in motherhood to not “stress the mess.” There are way too many things in life to stress about, keeping your house perfectly clean should not be one of them.
#4: Remember Life’s Main Ingredient - Yourself
After spending 10 years obsessively planning much of my life around my own children - I’ve finally begun to realize how important it is to include a “me” component. I’ve found I am much better at mothering when I remember to balance my own happiness into our busy life equation.
Guilt (although still a challenging concept) is slowly releasing its grip over me and has less of a presence in my day. Had I focused a little bit more on this ingredient I wonder if I could have decreased the guilt sooner?
#5: A Good Plan is Always a Flexible Plan
The truth is: Life will be so different after becoming a parent. (Yes! It’s true…I’m back to that annoying original comment).
However, more than just warning me of life’s pending differences, I wish someone would have told me how important flexibility is after the differences arrive. Having a plan and goals is important, but more important is to allow your plans and goals the flexibility to change.
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See what I mean? A great compilation of some very useful advice for myself and maybe another soon-to-be parent. Why in the world didn’t someone tell me these important things earlier?
The answer (and maybe the bigger question?) might be: Would I have listened?
Leave a Comment: What are some things you wish someone had told you before becoming a parent? Do you think you would have listened to their tips?
