Each day (okay, well nearly each day) I remind my daughter to make her bed.
And, it’s getting old.
Yesterday, was no exception. In a rather loud and angry voice I heard myself shout:
“Everyday. EV-ER-Y-DAY. I tell you the same thing! Don’t just pull your comforter up over your bed without also pulling up the sheets underneath!”
Yep, sounds ridiculous when I write it. RE-DIC-U-LOUS.
Sometimes we all get caught up in something that in retrospect, just isn’t as important as it seemed at the time. And getting caught up in life’s seemingly unimportant tasks is just one of the topics approached in today’s guest post.
The Mothers Central guest post series highlights our members’ letters in response to the question: What would you tell your child in a letter? (Read the first two guest posts here and here and consider submitting your own guest post.)
Theresa Saumell-Fitzpatrick, this week’s guest writer, is an active participant at Midshore Mothers’ Center in Massapequa Park, New York. She’s currently a stay-at-home mom, who (along with her husband Chris), is working hard to raise her eight-year-old son Finn. She also holds a law degree and is a holistic health counselor.
Theresa’s beautiful letter draws a few conclusions - yet getting caught up in the unimportant things was what most rung true to me. What parts of her letter do you relate to most?
Without further ado, welcome Theresa!
Theresa and her husband Chris
Dear Finn,
I think you know how incredibly much I love you.
Sometimes I wish I could arrange things well enough so that all of your dreams come true, that you never know any sadness, and that you have joy and contentment all the days of your life. But the wiser part of me knows that you need to experience both sides of life:
- sadness with joy
- laughter with tears
- highs after lows
So, now that I have been asked to write a letter of advice to you, I’m at a loss. What can I tell you that will be of any consistent value to you throughout your life?
I’ve been struggling with this for a while, and I want you to read a passage that I read as a little girl. It always stuck with me. I often pondered it. But I never really knew it, until I had you. It reads:
“If I have all the eloquence of men or angels, but speak without love,
I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.
If I have the gift of… knowing everything,
and if I have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love,
then I am nothing at all.
If I give away all that I possess… but am without love,
it will do me no good whatsoever.”
~ St. Paul to the Corinthians 12:31-13:8.
Translation: It doesn’t matter how well you speak, how smart you are, or how much you help others. If you don’t do these things with what Dad calls “a good heart” it is all for nothing. It is better to do a little bit in a loving way, than to do a lot with bitterness or resentment.
It took me a lifetime to understand this. If you can understand this now, truly understand it, you will be carried through life by a wave of grace.
And that is what I wish for you.
Not that you never experience pain (because you will), but that through your joys and sorrows, a giant swelling ocean of grace will always carry you gently along.
We can become caught up in things that aren’t so important. How well we do something is never more important than how lovingly we do it. There is no sport, activity, education, job, music lesson, matching outfit (or even matching socks), that is more important that acting in a calm, loving way.
I hereby grant you permission to remind me of this whenever we are getting caught up in any of these things. Just stop me and say “cymbal clashing.” (That can be our catchphrase. I know you love those!)
I understand I have times when I am like a cymbal clashing, or a gong booming, or a lady (who shall remain nameless) yelling. Just so you know that I know that we both know about this, will help us a lot.
Love you up to the Milky Way, down to the bottom of The Atlantic, and back,
Mom
~
Leave a Comment: What part of Theresa’s letter did you most connect with? Please join me in giving her a warm welcome by both leaving a comment on on the blog post and sharing her letter with other mothers.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Welcome Theresa! As you can see from my introduction, I related well with your letter and words of wisdom to your son (especially where you said: “a lady - who shall remain nameless - yelling.” LOL.) As time moves quickly forward, I find myself better and better at keeping calm and not getting caught up in the “unimportant” - yet it still happens. It’s so good to know that it happens to many other moms too!
Thank you so much for sharing your letter to your son here on the Mothers Central Blog.
I liked “do a little bit in a loving way” - I try to do the things I do because they are important to people I care about, and will help them in some small way. I also loved the imagery of a giant swelling ocean of grace carrying us along if we are doing our tasks lovingly, and the idea that being calm and loving is more important than being good at any particular thing. I’m going to have to keep that in mind!
Great post!
I really enjoyed your post Theresa! Especially:
“Translation: It doesn’t matter how well you speak, how smart you are, or how much you help others. If you don’t do these things with what Dad calls “a good heart” it is all for nothing. It is better to do a little bit in a loving way, than to do a lot with bitterness or resentment.”
Wonderful words of wisdom I hope to pass along to my children as well.
Thanks so much for sharing!