My own children’s birthdays have a way of sneaking up on me.
This could be because of my poor family planning the fact that all three of my children were born at very busy times of the year for our family (before and after the December holidays and just as the school year is ending).
Usually I remember their birthdays about 6-8 weeks before the actual date and think to myself, “Oh, that’s still ages away. I’ll have plenty of time to prepare!” Only to be jolted a little less than 3 weeks prior to, when my child begins talking about their upcoming party and I realize…
—> That I haven’t done a darn thing to make arrangements for it yet.
It wasn’t always like this. Yet, it seems that over the years, birthdays have gotten considerably harder to plan for.
Now it often seems that all things related to birthday parties just seem Way. Too. Complicated. (And ridiculously out of control.)
The Birthday To-Do List
1. Find a Date
First things first, you must pick a date. This may sound like the easiest part but I assure you,
It. IS. Not.
There are family schedules, friends’ schedules, school schedules, sport schedules, work schedules - loads of schedules to take into consideration. Take if from me, finding a date that fits our schedule, your schedule, their schedule, EVERYONE’s schedule is close to impossible.
2. Pick a Theme
Next, one needs to secure a party “theme” - because every party has to have a theme, right?
Personally, this is the point when the “creative juices” in me begin to brainstorm for the perfect birthday party theme, one that factors in my child’s current likes, dislikes, favorite colors, foods, sports, etc. Eventually, after securing complete approval from my child that this is indeed going to be THE BEST fill-in-the-blank-with-the-choice-theme-of-the-year party EVER! …
I always seem to manage to come up with the ONE ideal, individualized theme…
Which is not what the party store has available and/or in stock that year.
3. Find a Venue
If you think the term “venue” sounds a little too formal for a child’s birthday party you are sorely misinformed. These days every place under the stars has jumped on the birthday party bandwagon - it’s not just Chuck E. Cheese or “bust” - no-sir-ee!
There are movie theater parties, and swimming parties, and iceskating parties, and water park parties, and pottery-making parties, and bounce-house parties, and music parties, and of course the tried-and-true home birthday party (my personal favorite*).
*Important Note - You may want to review To-Do List item #4 before deciding on your venue.
4. Prepare the Guest List
Nearly 12 years ago I spent days (maybe months?) on the difficult task of determining my own wedding guest list. Paring down my own child’s birthday party guest list comes in a very close second to that.
- Who do you invite?
- How many do you invite?
- Do you invite the child’s whole class so no one feels left out?
- Do you just invite girls?
- Do you just invite boys?
- Do you just invite neighborhood friends?
- What about family?
And don’t forget about Facebook friends because you want to post all the photos on Facebook and you don’t want anyone to feel left out.
Soon your list has quite possibly grown to numbers that seem above “maximum capacity” for your home. To-Do list item #3 - the party venue - now becomes a very important issue.
In our household, it also starts to become necessary at a certain age to separate the “family party” and “friend party.” Which now means “rinse and repeat” steps 1-4 for party number 2. (Are you doing the math? This now means that 3 kids = 6 parties…)
5. Send out the Invitations
* Note: This is a very important step. DO NOT FORGET like I almost have a million times.
** See To-Do List item #2: Pick a Theme - this is where picking a “party-store theme” comes in handy so you don’t need to hand craft your own invitations like I often end up doing.
*** Afterthought: Waiting until later on this To-Do list item has parental advantages a direct effect on party attendance.
6. Plan the Party Activities and Timeline
Words to the wise:
- Keep your party length manageable. Too much time = too much chaos.
- Just because your child likes art projects/sports/chocolate cake (or whatever else you choose to fill your party with), doesn’t mean every other child there will (don’t take it personally).
- Every kid I have ever met, anywhere - loves piñatas and water balloon tosses (just sayin’).
Happy Birth Day?
See?
Com. Pli. Cate. ED.
Ridiculously complicated.
Birthdays are supposed to be happy.
In fact, they should be happy moments for both the child and the parent in my opinion because - speaking as a mother - aren’t our children’s birthdays technically our “birth” day too? It is a celebration of the day we gave birth to them.
One too many times I have found myself unnecessarily stressing about throwing the perfect party when it seems in looking back that no matter how small or big a birthday party - it was STILL memorable in my child’s eyes.
So, after 3 kids, multiple party successes and failures, hosting birthday parties that have been “off-sight” and “on-location” - ultimately this is what I’ve learned:
- Never judge another mother’s party venue choice.
- Try not to take it personally when my own child isn’t invited to another child’s birthday party.
- Don’t do more then I can personally handle - it’s not worth it.
And when it’s all over, my only advice to all parents is to give yourself a pat on the back and smile. You did it!
Leave a Comment. What are your birthday party experiences like? Do you think planning your children’s birthday parties is getting too complicated? What birthday tips, tricks, and insights can you share with other mothers?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I think birthday parties can get ridiculously out of hand. Most kids just want pizza, cake and a few friends. Maybe a movie. I think the added complexity comes from parents, or the old “mom guilt” factor. And social networking, while I love it, doesn’t help either-we see on Facebook what other parents do for their kids and feel like we need to step it up ourselves. Or too much hype from marketers/advertisers makes us feel like if we’re not doing something totally awesome, we don’t love our kids enough. So I guess in summary I think our kids are easy to please, it’s the adults who put on the pressure. “Simplify” is my mantra.
Agreed Kate. In the beginning (with young kids) we often do put the pressure on ourselves as moms. I remember kind-of feeling like it was a part of my job description as a mother that I had to throw some amazing party for my child! I have begun to notice that as my children have gotten older they see other kids’ birthday parties and (Of course! Just when I am figuring out that birthday parties don’t need to be some grand gala) now want what “other kids” have. Really, doesn’t it all come down to working to teach our children the differences between wants, needs and priorities?
Also, in defense of totally-over-the-top-birthday-party-throwing moms (which occasionally I can be!)
Some of them truly love the challenge of a grand birthday party. For me, I’ve come to feel like party planning is just not my thing - LOL. We all have our “thangs” don’t we? 
Talk about perfect timing! Just this week it dawned on me I hadn’t ordered my daughter’s birthday invitations. Invitations that would take roughly a week to receive, then need to be addressed and mailed out. Did I mention her party is in three weeks?! Yeah, instant PANIC! No idea how it crept up on me like that it’s not like I don’t know the date in advance
We will also be having our first “friends party” the weekend before which means double the party planning madness!
Thankfully no matter the stress or craziness involved (since more times than not we too also always seem to somehow pick the “theme” that’s most popular and therefore isn’t in stock!) it always ends up being “her best day ever!” - which for translates to “totally worth it!”
Good luck in you party planning pursuits Tatum! Darn birthdays! Always, always sneak up on us don’t they
Great post! I got a dose of party planning reality last year. We had a pumpkin patch party which was fine except our agreement with the owner was violated when he attempted to charge our guests; we then had to get him to reimburse all of them which he did. Nevertheless, it was confusing for our guests and embarrassing for us. V had a great time for the most part, but due to wind, all my decor (and I went over the top planning her “pumpkin theme” and art projects remained boxed up. The kids had a great time running around on some of the park-like features and playing and picking pumpkins. But then V cried during her birthday song/candle blowing due to too much attention focused on her and then got poked in the eye with a reed in the pumpkin patch at the end of the party. I’ve learned my lesson. This year we are doing cupcakes in the park or something equally simple. I LOVE doing the crafty, themed things, but in reality, the stress and expense of a more complicated birthday party sometimes can overtake the pleasure I get from the creative parts of party planning.
When the kids are little, you just never know how they are going to react to a big party. I guarantee though, that this will be a fun (and funny!) story to remember when V is older.
Last year we had a “super hero” themed party complete with caps for every child and an outside obstacle course - which last minute had to be moved into our basement due to rain. I think that party was what ultimately - pushed me over the edge!
BD party trend I think is silly: take-home bags (often filled with sugar and cheap crap) for the guests. Hello? I already fed and entertained the kids for 2hrs!
We’ve started trying to stay a little more on the “practical” side for the party favors Abby. This year for my son’s birthday the craft was decorating your own bouncy ball (which had each child’s name on it) and then they got to take the ball home with them. Some years, we just allow the kids to take a balloon home! For my daughters party we took 6 of her friends to a movie and then to pizza afterwards and gave each of the kids a couple dollars for the video games - I consider that our “party favor”