Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

by Kate Fineske on February 9, 2012 · 26 comments

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[pinit]

Have you ever wanted to help a friend, family member or maybe even your own child during a difficult struggle, yet didn’t know how to help?

Often I want to reach over, give them a giant hug and tell them, “It’s OK! Everything is gonna be OK.” Yet more often then not, I hesitate… because I’m scared - scared that I might just make their hurt worse.

Yet this is what I’d really like to say:

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The other day, you were hurting.
I know, because I could feel it.
And your pain, your heartache, it hurt me too.

And now, you’re still hurting. And I still feel your pain.

I know you may not be ready to heal yet (because I understand that there are some hardships and struggles that only time can make better). Nevertheless, there is something I still want to share with you.

So, when you are ready… when you have the strength (even just an ounce) this is what I want you to know:

Life is not fair. Life can be hard. And life, well we all know how fragile life can be.

But YOU…

I hope you can remember… that you are more than Any. One. Thing.
Don’t let yourself and your own life be defined by one (or even a few) instances.

You are more than just someone’s child.
You are more than just someone’s mother or someone’s father.
You are more than just someone’s wife, husband or partner.

Of course these things are a part of you - maybe a big part of you… but you are SO. MUCH. MORE. than just one thing.

You are more than just your race.
You are more than just other people’s expectations.
You are more than just your childhood, or your friends, or your wealth.

You have strengths beyond even what you know. Great strengths. Strengths that can take you far - if you let yourself heal.

Some take a lemon and allow it to sour them - and others, they make lemonade!
I. know. you. You can make lemonade. (I know it! I believe it!)

Strength is hard to find when you’re down, when you’re hurt, when you’re broken.
(I remember. I’ve been there. And I am sure sometime I may be there again.)

Struggles are never fun. Yet with time, with support, and with the belief that you are MORE than any one thing - you can heal.

And here’s another really important thing that I personally find hard to recognize sometimes (and maybe you do to?) - your enemy most of the time is not your struggle. No it isn’t! Often your only true enemy is you. Because many times YOU are your own worst critic.

What good does it do to let your own worries, hurt, and emotional pain completely consume you? Change your negative circumstance if you can, but don’t allow the process of changing IT take over your life. Some things, some people, some problems… just can’t be changed. Period.

Believe me.

But here’s the silver lining to any life challenge:

Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you will get.
But you can always try for something sweeter.

ALWAYS.

So don’t stop trying… OK?

P.S. I always have chocolate in my house. Along with a shoulder to cry on. All are welcome. Especially you.

Leave a Comment. What would you want to say to your child, a friend or a family member as they are struggling with a life challenge that doesn’t have an easy answer?

~

Help to brighten someone’s day
with a box of chocolates.

Share this post via Facebook, Twitter, Email or on Pinterest and then leave a comment below
to be entered to win a box of Roni-Sue Chocolates* - shipped right to your home!
(Or to the home of someone who may need the chocolate even more.)


A special thank you to Rhonda Kave - a Mothers’ Center alumni, former NAMC Board member, and also the owner/operator of Roni Sue’s Chocolate Shoppe - for her generous donation of a box of assorted truffles. (We’ve all sampled them and they are incredible!)

*Winners will be picked in a random drawing. In order to qualify you must leave a comment prior to February 16th along with a valid email address in the designated area when submitting the comment (Note: your email address is only visible to our blog administrators.) Winner will receive the 12 Piece Dealer’s Choice Chocolate Assortment - a $22 value.

I am a staff member of the National Association of Mothers' Centers and a longtime member of the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in Ohio. My husband and I are busy raising 3 children ages 2-9. I have a professional background as a graphic designer in the creative and education industry. Since 2005, I have been using my professional skills by actively volunteering with the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in various leadership positions.
Kate Fineske
View all posts by Kate Fineske
Kate's website

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Kate L. February 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Great post, Kate. Sounds like sermon material to me. Very inspiring to all ages!

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Kate Fineske February 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Thanks Kate. My hope is that this post is relatable to everyone. At the time I wrote it I was really concerned by some unfortunate news, and I’ll admit it was written just as much as a pep talk for myself as it was for others…

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Amanda Manthey February 9, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Great post…makes you stop and think how precious life is among the craziness and appreciate the simple things in life. I am my own worst critic ( most of the time) and need to relax & enjoy the day to day stuff and not let my worries consume me.

My life quote is Love today because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

And yes, chocolate is a huge favorite in my house too!!

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Kate Fineske February 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I love your life quote Amanda:

Love today because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Thanks for your comment.

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Jennifer Gundrum February 9, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Great blog! Very true and there was someone today that I would have loved to say this to. But I also was trying not to cry. Life is tough and chocolate does make it better (I just had some.) but so do friends:). Thanks!

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Kate Fineske February 9, 2012 at 3:03 pm

You got it Jen! Just as important as remembering you are not defined by any single instance - is remembering that a good friend is worth so much

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Melani February 9, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Brought tears to my eyes. Even more meaningful because I know you personally and I know you mean it! Thank you!

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Kate Fineske February 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Any time Melani :) Sometimes we all need a pep talk and chocolate… don’t we?

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Luke February 9, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Whoa. My Kate told me to read this and I’m so glad I did! It has everything!
1. A quote from my favorite movie.
2. An acknowledgement of how crappy life can be.
3. Hope despite #2.
Way to rawk it out!

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Kate Fineske February 10, 2012 at 7:04 am

There is always hope in life, despite the crappiness… right? There has got to be.

So glad you enjoyed the post and thank you so much for sharing it on Facebook :)

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Missy | The Literal Mom February 10, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Aw, Kate. This was just beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes because i handled something badly today with one of my children and I wish I’d been more “this way.” Now they’re at a father daughter dance and I hope when they get home she will have forgotten about our moment because she’s had such a good time.

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Kate Fineske February 12, 2012 at 9:00 am

We need to learn to cut ourselves some slack as parents more often - we have off days too. We’re not perfect. When I have reactions that I recognize as probably not handled well, I try to remind myself that on occasion it is good for our children to see that we also make mistakes and aren’t perfect. I hope your daughter had a great time at the father/daughter dance and that you were able to forget about your “moment” - because I am nearly certain your daughter has (at least that tends to be the case with my kids! I tend to dwell on my mistake and then my kids forget my mistakes way quicker then I anticipated!)

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Tatum B. February 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Beautiful post Kate! You certainly have a way with words. I am honored to call you a friend :-)

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Kate Fineske February 12, 2012 at 9:02 am

Thanks Tatum… I love with words you can “refine” them. When I talk out loud I don’t have the luxury to refine, and often I think that what comes out of my mouth (without refinement!) tends to not come out the way I intended. :) Glad you enjoyed this post!

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Jessica February 13, 2012 at 9:18 am

What a great friend you are Kate, truly.

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Kate Fineske February 13, 2012 at 9:28 am

Thanks Jessica. This is my “passive” way of advising (writing this letter on this blog), because I still feel like I prefer not to offer advise unless directly asked for it. And even then sometimes I struggle because advice is so individual and very much an opinion. It is so tough to sit a watch someone struggle though…

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Karen February 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I printed out a copy for my teenage daughter and for my husband. Thanks for your words of wisdom during a trying time! And, of course, there’s always chocolate!!

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Kate Fineske February 15, 2012 at 9:05 am

So glad you are sharing the post with others Karen! Thanks for stopping over here and taking the time to read and comment. I hope you will return to share your thoughts on other posts in the future, we always put up a new Mothers Central post up every Thursday morning!

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annmarieshrader February 14, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Chocolate…
It can also be bittersweet.

I had a son who was identified with special needs in NY (Long Island) in 2002.

It was a journey…and still is…

My son, now a acedemically gifted student is impaired by something else…
an educational system that does not recognize disability and giftedness. And when I discovered my son suffered from anxiety…I found out my spouse suffered from the same.

It remains a bittersweet chocolate.

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Kate Fineske February 15, 2012 at 9:09 am

Your son is lucky to have you with him on his journey to succeed Anne Marie. Good luck as you continue to “fight” and keep a winning outlook. It sounds like you have been successful (even amidst all the hardships) this far. And thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this post. I hope you will return in the future to read and share your thoughts. I post a new, personal blog article here at Mothers Central every Thursday morning.

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Christina February 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

This reinforces that we are as strong as we empower ourselves to be and we cannot allow others to take us down.
As long as we value our self we can get through anything.
Thanks.

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Kate Fineske February 15, 2012 at 9:03 am

Exactly Christina. Well said: “we are as strong as we empower ourselves to be…”

I hope you will return to share your thoughts on other posts, we always put up a new Mothers Central post up every Thursday morning!

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Heidi February 15, 2012 at 12:03 am

Thank you for this post. Excellent reminders for day-to-day life. Thank you, thank you.

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Kate Fineske February 15, 2012 at 9:01 am

So glad you enjoyed the post Heidi! We post every Thursday, be sure to come back and visit us again. We have such a great community of moms commenting through the local Mothers Centers and the NAMC network.

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Violet February 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Love this :) .

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Kate Fineske February 15, 2012 at 7:40 pm

So happy to provide you with a good read :) Thanks for stopping by! We post a “good read” every Thursday morning. I hope you will stop back again!

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