Tainted Recollections

The following is a true story.
(At least in my mind it is.)

~

I was 15 years old, just beginning my sophomore year of high school, and one of the few ways I could make some extra spending money at such a young age was by babysitting. Late one Saturday night, after babysitting and during the ride home, I clearly remember having the following conversation:

Dad of Children: So, have you decided what college you will go to after high school?
Me: No, not yet.
(In my head I remember thinking, College? That’s SOOO far away!)

Dad of Children: I remember college being the best time of my life. Make sure you enjoy those days. (Pause. Short awkward silence, as we slowly pull in to my driveway.)

Me: Okay… (another awkward pause) Thanks for the ride home! Good night!

And with a quick smile I was off to my bedroom.
To sleep in as long as I wanted the next day…

~

Flash Forward: 4 Years Later as a College Student.
(Recalling that very conversation in my dorm room - late at night as I struggled to finish a paper)

Me to myself: What was he talking about? The best years of my life!?! Sure, the weekends were sometimes kind of fun. Yes, it was great living on my own and being more independent. But, the best years of my life?

College is HARD. WORK. I can’t wait to be done and actually working - making money and not needing to go to class All. The. Time.

~

Flash Forward: Present Day.
(Over spring break, watching the college students at a beach bar while out for a “date night” with my husband)

Me to my husband: College. I remember college. Those were some of the best, most carefree days of my life…

Lets Evaluate the Evidence…

Over the years, have you ever noticed that you tend to forget the everyday battles of life and remember just the end results?

Exhibit A: My College Experience Recollection

College was hard. College was full of late night papers, occasional drama and other difficulties. Yet just like the father driving my 15-year-old self home after babysitting, I tend to forget these difficult, emotional moments and just remember the highlights.

And this selective memory doesn’t seem to stop with college.
It also applies to children and motherhood.

Exhibit B: A Recent Facebook Update About Flying with Kids

I always seem to forget about the
difficulties of flying with a 2-year-old.

Wait - let me revise that - I know it is going to be hard to fly with a 2-year-old, but I often forget just how hard. (You would think I would know better since I wrote this post last spring break about flying with kids…)

Yet Exhibit B highlights exactly one of the reason’s why I forget how bad flying with kids REALLY can be. I tend to “rewrite” moments in my mind by the photos I capture of them.

(And really, who thinks of capturing a meltdown on camera in the middle of a teeny, tiny airplane at 11 p.m.? Camera? I’m not even sure I could have located my iPhone camera - since we had 4 bags stuffed with children’s paraphernalia!)

Further Proof…

And lets not forget…

Exhibit C: Childbirth
Not the easiest thing to go through for most of us, yet many of us do it again and again.

Or maybe…

Exhibit D: The Terrible Two’s
(We are totally going through this stage again with my youngest and I know for certain that it was never this bad before… I think.)

And of course there is also…

Exhibit E: Potty Training
No wait, scratch that… I fully remember potty training being NOT FUN.

But you get the point.

My own mother again and again tried to convince me to keep a daily diary after each of my three children’s births so that I could go back and remember with truth an instance or experience.

Yet I swore up and down I had absolutely no NEED or time for that. I was busy! I had much more important things to do with my time then keep a journal…

And now, well as they say, hindsight is 20/20…

Or is it?

Leave a Comment: How do you remember past stages and ages of your children? Do you think your recollections tend to become tainted and rewritten to reflect more of the end results of an experience along with what you WANT to remember?

~

Did you enjoy this post?

You can help us spread the word about the NAMC by both sharing this post with other mothers
and by making a donation to the Mothers’ Central Blog Mile for Mothers Virtual Walk Team.
Every cent you donate helps to support moms everywhere,
wherever their walk through motherhood takes them.

I am a staff member of the National Association of Mothers' Centers and a longtime member of the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in Ohio. My husband and I are busy raising 3 children ages 2-9. I have a professional background as a graphic designer in the creative and education industry. Since 2005, I have been using my professional skills by actively volunteering with the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in various leadership positions.

Kate Fineske

View all posts by Kate Fineske
Kate's website

Tagged as: flying with children, memory, mothers group, Mothers support, remembering