NOTE: On Thursday, February 28th, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers will be hosting a webinar entitled: Supporting Young Children After Natural Disasters and School Violence. The webinar, which is free and open to the public, will look at ways young children react after traumatic events and how parents can respond. This topic caused me to reflect on how sometimes as a parent, we don’t always have the answers to kids’ tougher questions.
She looked over at me, her eyes misty, frustration filling her face.
“But Mom,” my daughter exclaimed, “I don’t understand?”
Should I tell her? I thought to myself. Should I explain that I don’t always know all the answers?
I stared down at the paper filled with scribbles and eraser marks wanting desperately to be able to help. Slowly I reread the story problem. It’s 4th Grade Math for crying out loud. I can do this!
The Superhuman Myth
I grew up with the perception that parents (in fact most adults) were somewhat superhuman – able to fix broken toys, clean dirty clothes, heal scrapes and bruises AND help solve math problems in a single bound.
Then…
I became a parent,
and (disappointingly)
did not seem to qualify as superhuman (or a mathematician).
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Kate, as a mom to grown-up children, I see how the times I didn’t know everything actually ended up being a benefit, because when I didn’t know, I had to figure it out (if it was a solution to my own problem I was seeking), or show them how to figure it out (if it was their problem). My youngest is now 15, and you can be sure I know very little when it comes to 9th grade science and math! But, I know how to teach my daughter to communicate effectively with her teachers, and to look for the appropriate resources. Yes, my older two, who are away at college, still look to me for the answers first (I wouldn’t have it any other way!), but when I can’t help them, they are not stuck. They will continue to grow and learn, and be healthy, independent people their whole lives because I could not (and cannot) always help. We come to find out, as moms, that support is much more valuable in the end.
Gail, what a great thing to share in response to this topic. As a mom of three children all under the age of 11, I find it comforting that my thoughts written here on providing support (not always answers) in regards to our kids hard (or unanswerable) questions actually DO in reality work for others. I may not always remember (or know how to help), however I can always remember to be a resource and a support. Thanks for sharing your insights and experiences!