How does one learn how to mother?
Over the past decade, I’ve found that no one book, person or source is ever enough to supply me with the perfect answer for my own individual parenting experiences.
Instead, learning to parent (honestly, learning to do nearly anything), often seems to be a process that explores and utilizes numerous sources. By listening to multiple mothers and taking in their lives and experiences in a non-judgmental way, I have learned that I can then uniquely apply them to my own life.
Along our parenting journey we inadvertently become researchers of life and motherhood.
This summer, on the Mothers Central Blog, our hope it to help you (our readers) continue your own “research” by introducing you to more mothers’ stories and lives.
The MC Voices page on Mothers Central is meant to highlight other mothers’ stories along with our NAMC members who choose to share their lives via their own personal blog. Throughout the summer (starting now!) we are honored and excited to be interviewing mothers listed within our Blog Directory on the MC Voices page.
Please help us welcome our 1st highlighted mother – NAMC Advocacy Coordinator Valerie Young who writes about politics through the lens of motherhood at Your (Wo)man in Washington.
~
Q: What 3 words do you think best describe you and why?
A: (This is really, really hard… okay, I’ll take a stab at it, but these may be more aspirational than realistic.)
Articulate. Committed. Feminist.
Q: What are some of your personal passions, hobbies and interests.
A: Several years ago I read Kristof’s Half The Sky and became fascinated by global women’s issues. We tend to think that women are so much better off in the US, and in some ways, they are. (For example, there are no drones being launched at us, and we can put our kids to bed without bombs.) On the other hand, the extent that women here are sexually assaulted and die by gun violence at the hands of domestic partners, is in my opinion horrific. Additionally, US mothers are systematically discriminated against by not having guaranteed paid maternity leave and not getting social security credit for raising children.
If a woman complains, she becomes a whiner, a victim, a bitch, or “shrill”. Give me a break. I have things I do for fun - but advocating for mothers is always on my mind, and it feeds and fulfills me. Empowering women is the only thing that can save the planet and the human race - so I’m pretty happy to give a lot of time to it.
Q: How did you become involved with the NAMC?
A: In 2002 I read a review of Ann Crittenden’s The Price of Motherhood. I then met Ann and forced my friendship upon her. She taught me so much and suggested I volunteer for the NAMC on the MOTHERS coordinating committee. I got involved, got to know the organization and the people who ran it and two years later the NAMC asked me to be their representative in DC and promote a grassroots mothers’ movement.
Q: When did you start blogging?
A: (I just had to go to the blog to look It up!) Almost 5 years ago.
Q: What topics/stories are you most passionate writing about on your blog.
A: Oh, there are so many! I guess the most elemental purpose is to help mothers realize their inestimable social and economic value, so they will advocate for themselves loudly and insistently.
Q: What is your favorite blog post and why?
A: I thought my Womb With A View post had a hilarious title. The writing was prompted by the congressional hearing on contraception in which only MEN testified. Appalling.
Q: What is one of your favorite memories as a parent?
A: When I was pregnant with my second child, my son’s pre-school teacher asked if he was going to have a baby brother or a baby sister. He replied, “We haven’t made our selection yet.” I thought that was the sweetest thing.
Q: What is one of your biggest challenges as a parent?
A: Keeping my mouth shut. In my experience, my children talk more, confide in me more, and feel better when they talk and I just listen. They don’t want me to fix all their problems, they just want to be heard and affirmed. Also, articulating their thoughts and feelings helps them process and find their own resolutions, when necessary. However if I start talking, they shut down. So, the key is to keep. my. mouth. shut. (And as you can imagine, for a woman who experiences life itself through words, this can be very difficult.)
Q: How has having children changed you? Do you think your views of what motherhood would be like were unrealistic before you had children?
A: When I found out I was pregnant I cried and cried, even though we’d been trying! I felt like I just couldn’t do it, that I would be inadequate and incapable. Really, I was a basket case, a total mess. Pretty quickly after my son was born, I figured out that I had everything it takes and I was going to manage just fine by being confident and trusting my own problem-solving skills.
By following my own path, I think I’ve turned out to be a very effective mother. My kids, now 17 and 13, are terrific people and have totally exceeded my own hopes in ways I never imagined. So I think I’ve done okay. I know I did my best.
The most significant way motherhood changed me was that it opened my eyes to the extent women continue to be discriminated against, both in this country and the world over. I had always figured I could educate myself out of gender discrimination before that. I was wrong. There is no getting around gender discrimination when you become a mother. But we can change that, if enough of us want to.
~
Thank you Valerie for being our 1st interview and for sharing your experiences with us.
Continue researching motherhood through your own lens by reading more of Valerie’s thoughts on politics and motherhood. Visit Your (Wo)man in Washington through the MC Voices Page of the Mothers Central Blog.
Leave A Comment: Please help me give a warm welcome to Valerie. Do you have additional questions for Valerie? Share them here in the comments section!
~
Are you interested in joining our NAMC Member Blog Directory?
Click here for more information and to submit your blog.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you Valerie, for sharing your insight and wisdom! You always make me think - after reading your posts and interviews I always want to dig a little deeper into my experience as a woman and mother - and emerge with more ways to empower women and mothers. Thank you!
What a fabulous advocator we have in Valerie.
Articulate you are, Valerie! I feel so lucky to know you and be continuously inspired by you!
Thank you so much for sharing Valerie!! Your words are very inspirational and so true!!
My pleasure, of course. Kate’s questions caused me to stop and reflect. I’m interested to see what her next interview subject says! I bet over the course of the summer we will see that there is no one right way to mother, but lots and lots of good ways.