Note: This post was inspired by an email correspondence I had with Lorri Slepian, a founding member of the National Association of Mothers’ Centers and a current NAMC board member who in writing, asked me the following question:
“Is there a maternal perspective?”
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WANTED. A caring, flexible and compassionate team player willing to work in a sometimes chaotic and always changing environment. Ideal candidate would be able to work variable hours including (but not limited to) evening, weekends and early morning shifts. All applicants must have a good sense of humor and be familiar with basic first aid. Extensive (and often exhausting) on-the-job training provided.
The Ideal Parenting Job Candidate
When my husband and I decided to start our family I was ready. I wanted so badly to land the job of mom. I knew, if I was able to secure this job, that I would be the ideal candidate…
To Whom it May Concern:
I am currently seeking a position in motherhood. I am a hands-on, results-oriented person whose strengths lie in my exceptional ability to be both creative and organized.
Attached you will find my resume detailing the specifics of my experiences and accomplishments that should qualify me for the job.
Sincerely,
Kate
WAIT.
Experiences? Accomplishments? Qualifications?
Oh no! I had none of these before I became a mother! What was I thinking applying for a job in the “parenting profession?” How could I possibly have believed that I was an “ideal candidate?”
Yet, unbelievably, I still “got the job.”
I took one giant leap of faith as I entered into my new career of motherhood.
And what I realized (and continue to realize) during my on-the-job, sink or swim mom training, is that the job of parenting - like any other job - can provide us with qualifications and experiences that most people might not have had before working in the “parenting profession.”
I now believe, in order to be a mother, the ideal parenting candidate doesn’t need experience, accomplishments and qualifications. Instead, what one needs, is to be open to change and the possibility of change. Because, in the profession of parenting, change happens daily and without fail.
Kids grow. Stages alter. Life happens. And there is always more than just yourself to think about when you take on the job of parenting.
Building “Parenting Experience”
Everything evolves. Everything changes. And as a parent, I’ve often found that beliefs I once held firm to can be wiped away in seconds after ANY new experience.
Motherhood - above anything else - IS an experience.
A life-changing, eye-opening, resume-building experience.
OK. Life changing, eye opening - sure. But resume building? Really?
When I “applied” for my job in motherhood I didn’t do it to build my resume. Yet the experiences I’ve gained in the “parenting profession” are unique and invaluable skills that I feel should give me a leg up on other job applicants if I were to apply for a job.
- I’ve learned more about time management and effective multi-tasking than I ever thought possible.
- I’ve discovered the significance of building my listening skills, increasing my patience, and effectively communicating.
- And most importantly, I’ve grasped that there are often multiple good solutions to one problem (which in turn increases my ability to effectively problem solve.)
Am I wrong? Aren’t these all valuable skills for any job? Then throw in my 6+ years of volunteer leadership experiences with my local Mothers Center chapter and suddenly I have a very complete and solid resume!
A New Perspective on an Old Resume
When I took on my new job as a mom, I occasionally worried that my professional resume would get old and dusty.
What I didn’t realize, was that the parenting skills I’ve gained during my nearly 9 years of experience as a mom could actually add to my resume and ultimately to my contributions to society.
There is a new perspective that is often overlooked by employers on resumes - the “maternal perspective.” This is a perspective on life that is unique to only moms. A maternal perspective that we, as moms, can use to make an even greater contribution to the workforce or towards society in general.
Sure, when I became a mom:
- my “office” changed location,
- my professional “duties” changed drastically
- and of course I got a totally different boss (a very demanding little boss!)
Yet on the flip side, when I became a mom, I gained a greater sense of empathy, altruism and compassion.
Could we as mothers (and parents alike) use this newfound perspective and in turn teach some of these positive maternal characteristics to others? Isn’t this “maternal perspective” beneficial (and shouldn’t it be sought after?) in today’s workforce and community?
Parenting has got to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. When I “applied” for my position as a mother, little did I know how much the job would change me for the better.
Working moms, WAHM (work-at-home moms), SAHM (stay-at-home moms) - we have one qualification that no one else has: our maternal wisdom and perspective. Maybe, just like the ability to incorporate a good GPA into our resume, parents should feel they have the added benefit of incorporating the skills they learned in parenting into their resumes?
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WANTED: A caring, open-minded, compassionate team player with an unsurpassable work ethic. The ideal candidate would be able to lead AND listen to others while remaining flexible to change and open to mistakes. All applicants must have the ability to offer non-judgmental responses and effectively communicate to people of all ages in all stages. Job offers extensive experienced-based training and unlimited opportunities to further ones “professional” education.
Now there’s a “Want Ad” that I aim to be fully qualified for.
So, what’s on your resume? What qualifications have you gained from parenting that might be added to your “professional” resume? Do you think you have acquired a unique perspective on life due to the experiences, accomplishments, and qualifications you’ve gained as a parent?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Great and thoughtful post, Kate!
Sadly, our culture struggles to appreciate the career of motherhood. I envy my friends in Australia. They are PAID by the government to stay home with their kids (it’s really more of a tax break). I suppose it’s all about priorities.
However, I wouldn’t trade my Mommy job in for anything else!
I wouldn’t trade my job as a mom for anything either Susie! I hope we continue to evolve in our culture to better appreciate the “unique maternal perspective” that only we, as moms have the ability to share.
Kate, this post is full of so many ideas to think about! I love finding a blog that really makes me think, and yours (both of them) definitely do that! I never really put it into words in my mind that I have a maternal perspective and how this enhances my overall character and capability, but it is so true. I think I’ve become more in tune with my instincts and apply them to the world around me, not just to my children. And I’ve become more versatile. When change happens, I have learned to trust my instincts and listen. I used to think I knew exactly what I believed and how I’d react to any given experience, but now I know there are multiple ways to proceed forward, and that I should always go with my inner feelings about what is right and well for me and everyone else.
This is such a great post, too for moms who are considering going back into the other work field, because I’ve come across the phrase so many times “what will I write on my job application after I have been a SAHM for seven years?” Some say it was a sabbatical from work, while others write ‘unemployed.’ But I think this post gives everyone the courage and pride to say how we are more qualified for any job than we were before becoming a mother.
Kim, that is another great characteristic for an employer: versatility
It really wasn’t until after I became a mom that I truly understood that there are often multiple ways to proceed. I used to think that what the “specialist” or “professional” told you was gold. But since becoming a mom, I’ve realized that I too am a “specialist” in the field of mothering. Only I truly know what is best and what works best for our family.
So glad you continue to visit my blogs Kim! Thanks
One of my favorite phrases is “God doesn’t call the qualified, God qualifies the called.”
I think it is appropriate here.
Way to be adaptive, flexible, and learn from failure! Great qualities to have in any job, anywhere!
Very appropriate Luke!
FYI: Failure is the hardest, but by far my best, teacher.
Wonderful post! So glad I checked this blog…and if I could just weigh in from the perspective of a mom whose youngest is off to college next week!
…and we need confidence in ourselves even in the face of being told at least once a day - “Your’re being ridiculous!” We need the confidence in ourselves to stop and listen…even when what’s being said is attacking our sense of self.
We need confidence in ourselves even when we really aren’t at all sure that what
we ‘know’ applies to this ever changing world our ‘baby’ is about to step into.
Thank you for visiting Mary. Glad you enjoyed this post. Confidence is a great “qualification” that we all need and gain through mothering. It is also a hard characteristic to maintain. Every mom, particularly myself, struggles with confidence in our parenting choices… I thank my local Mothers Center chapter for helping me to gain more “mothering confidence.” Good luck with your transition as your youngest daughter enters college. I hope you’ll continue to share your perspective and voice here on the Mothers Central Blog.