Traveling on an airplane with young children is somewhat like childbirth…
Nevertheless, for some reason you still do it again and again… and again.
And it is this third “again” which has slightly pushed me over the edge. Is there a successful way to fly with 2 kids AND a 15-month-old toddler?!? We recently returned from a “spring break” trip to the tropics to visit my parents and I have yet to find an answer to this question.
I have always loved to travel. I grew up as a child going on “road trips” with my family, studying abroad in college, and working in England and exploring Europe after graduation. Traveling is a high priority in my life. And I long to share my love of travel with my own kids… but at what cost?
It used to be so easy to travel…
When I was a kid:
- We didn’t worry about seat belts, car seats and Homeland Security current threat level advisories.
- There were no security checkpoints at airports where you had to strip down and separate kids from their favorite blanky.
- You didn’t have to worry about a long list of TSA “prohibited items” including bottled water and breast milk!
- And you definitely didn’t have to pay extra to check just ONE piece of luggage on a plane! (I mean seriously, as a family of five, it is IMPOSSIBLE to travel without at least ONE checked bag!)
It is hard enough to pack what you need for a family of five, but anymore, you don’t just have to think about what you pack, but also how you pack it!
Spring Break… Family-Style.
OK, envision the following scenario:
4 large carry-ons.
3 whiny kids.
2 exhausted adults.
1 full-sized stroller
and an awkward booster seat.
Teething toddler. Over-excited 3-year-old. Annoyed 8-year-old.
And it’s getting dangerously close to lunch time…
The Homeland Security Advisory Level might only be at elevated,
but my stress level equals SEVERE!
We successfully managed to get through the airline check-in, past security and to the waiting area of our flight gate. After which, I am already mentally and physically exhausted from anxiety and we have yet to even board the plane. As I wipe the sweat from my forehead, we make the millionth stop to use the restroom prior to boarding… and are ridiculously relieved to find that our 15-month-old decided to poop prior to and NOT ON the flight! (The things one gets excited about as a mom… really! Poop?!)
All Aboard!? OK, here we go!
Boarding begins and I feel all eyes on the “crazy family of five.”
I sense the glares of the other passengers as we board. I can read their thoughts: “Really??? You plan to fly with all those little kids?” Of course, all the passengers smile at me… but I KNOW THE TRUTH! Really they are thinking to themselves, “Please, please, PLEASE don’t let them be sitting anywhere close to us!”
But we have a plan…
And the plan is named: Lunch.
Nothing like food to quiet down two kids and an antsy toddler! We grab our seats and start distributing our pre-packed, gourmet, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, grapes, fishes and bottled water (that we purchased once safely through security without liquid). Lunch! That ought to do the trick? Right!?!
10 minutes later… all three kids… D.O.N.E. Done.
And we haven’t even left the ground yet!
That was our plan?!?
That was a poor plan… now what?
The Fight Flight: Let’s get through this!
As the plane ascends, I am determined to keep a positive attitude! (I had just written last weeks post here on staying positive as a mom prior to leaving.)
And let me pause just one second and proudly pronounce that, for the most part, our 4 and 8-year-old were fabulous flyers! I am a firm believer in the “whatever-works” theory while on vacations. And “whatever” worked!
Our 15-month-old toddler, not so much… two and a half hours could have been a life-time.
Pacing the aisle, meeting our “neighbors,” exploring every nook and cranny of the plane, trading off from mommy-time to daddy-time, stuffed with snacks… until finally… our toddler’s drowsy eyes get the best of him, and he nods off to sleep in my arms.
And for the moment it is calm and silent.
As the pilot announces our decent towards our destination our toddler awakes. The peace and quiet of the short nap is broken and my arm starts to tingle from the numbness of not moving it as my toddler slept.
We depart the plane, and (as I wait for our stroller and booster to be delivered) I try very hard not to make eye contact with all the passengers as they too get off the plane. ALL of whom, I am certain, recognize me instantly as the mom who was pacing the plane with the restless and fidgeting toddler.
DONE. Never Again. No More!
2 1/2 hours! TWO AND A HALF HOURS!
In a tiny plane, on a tiny seat, with a teething toddler who doesn’t sit still… at a busy airport, through stringent security, all with 4 Carry-ons, 3 kids, 2 adults, 1 full-sized stroller and a booster seat.
I just don’t know how I am going to do the same thing on the way home! At this point I begin to think, “Why did we decide to do this?”
When my parents pick us up from the airport I catch a glimpse of a palm tree, I feel the warm breeze in the air… and I suddenly think of my sister. My sister and her husband, who just drove 18 hours to this same destination, with their three kids about the same ages as our three kids.
2 1/2 hours in a plane… 18 hours in a car?
Pacing the airplane aisles… stuck in a car seat?
Stuck in a car seat…
18 hours…
Maybe our two and a half hour flight wasn’t so bad after all?
Later that afternoon, as I look out at the ocean view, and I see my toddler exploring the sand for the 1st time, and my 4-year-old fishing with his grandpa, and my 8-year-old making memories buried in the sand … I think to myself… that wasn’t that bad? I could do that again…
NOTE: This is the about the same thought process I had right before we decided to have our 3rd child…
See? Traveling on an airplane IS really like childbirth!
Leave a comment to share your best and worst traveling experiences with you children. Do you have any travel tips on flying with young children or a young toddler? Which way do you prefer to travel - via car or plane?
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh you are brave! I have a teen, two 3 year olds and a soon-to-be 2 year old and I am not willing to attempt air travel with them all. Maybe in a few years. That picture of the three of them is great, so telling of the different attitudes you were balancing. Glad the trip was worth the flight!
Thanks for your comment Jessica! Yes, the trip was worth the flight, however I could NOT have done it without my husband. I ran into a mother who was traveling alone with 2 of her kids (same ages as my youngest 2). Her 3rd and oldest was already in Florida with her husband. She was joining them late due to the littlest kids getting sick. YUK! You don’t think of all the things that can go wrong when traveling with kids until you hear other peoples stories of what went wrong!
This reminds me so vividly of our 1st experience of flying with our son, Cameron at 13 months and we only had 1!! It was spring break and like you, we were heading to florida…paradise, right. Well, first we had to fly out of Detroit Metro in a SNOWSTORM. We boarded our plane at 5:30 p.m. (Good Friday ’08) and everything is planned for 6:00 p.m. take off and of course, you look out the window and it’s snowing like crazy. Already pulling out the snacks and thinking it’s going to be a LONG trip. And our course, we only paid for 2 seats (my husband and me). So after 3 HOURS sitting on the plane and the tarmack (?), we finally get lift off at 9:15!!! I honestly didn’t think we would ever make it up in the air. There was 7 + inches of snow on the ground in a matter of 3-4 hours. My son was “chucking” his pacifier down the plane…all the snacks GONE, pooped his pants 2x and was all over the place. But fortunately, the minute we hit the air, he was asleep in our arms. I WILL never forget this one. So reading your blog, just brought back memories (I can laugh now) of OUR first flight with a child.
LOL! I can’t even imagine being stuck in the plane for 3 hours and not even in the air yet! I am certain that would have grounded all our future family flying vacations for a LONG time afterwards! To think, you STILL had to come back from vacation too?!? Glad you survived. Thank you for sharing your story!
ugh! we’re leaving on a jet plane (everybody! DON’T KNOW WHEN… sorry, got carried away) this Monday. good to know operation LUNCH is successful only in the short term and it’s success depends on timing. i’ve come up with Operation iPod DORA: downloading shows on my iPod nano and hopefully Eve will click in and watch them for at least an hour. last time we flew, she was a year old and largely slept or stayed in her pea-pod car seat. this time, it could get a little crazy.
thanks for your timely and awesome post!
Luke, check out the “lollipop” tip above! May help you out on your trip! Operation iPod DORA sounds like a good one to me
Good luck… safe and successful travels too you and your family!
Just wanted to say…your kids are ADORABLE…They are seriously gorgeous kids. The teenage years might be some nervewracking years for you all as parents
. And I love your 4 year old’s hair 
.
Thanks Dawn
Yes, the hair is my 4-year-old’s “signature” look… In fact for Halloween he was a “surfer” because we keep getting that comment about his hair style looking like a “surfer dude!” Someday, I think I will need to blog the story about when he took scissors to it… TRUE story! And of course, he decided to cut his hair right before Trick-or-Treating as the “surfer dude.” Thanks for the comment.
this does bring back memories! My first flight with a young child was with my 18 month old - thankfully relatively short - and thankfully we had some very kind and helpful fellow passengers. And who knew a lollipop would be a lifesaver on take-off! Bless you to the mom who shared the secret and the lollipop! Kept those little ears from popping - thank you fellow mom - whoever you are! I have tried to pay it forward with kindness to each mother I see struggling with a cranky kid! A little kindness goes a long way. I’m glad for the memories we have of family trips - thankfully I think you’re right Kate- the good memories stay forward in the mind - the not so great ones stay somewhere in the folds- so we keep moving forward- planning the next trip!
GREAT idea Lisa: “And who knew a lollipop would be a lifesaver on take-off!” So glad you commented and shared!
We are experts at the 2 - 6 hour roadtrips! We’ve been doing them with our son since he was 4 weeks old and still wanted to eat every 2 hours (and then fill his diaper while eating.) We are taking our first plane trip this August and I’ll admit I’m VERY nervous about being stuck on an airplane for the 5 hours it will take to get down to Hawaii with a 21-month-old!
5-hours… yuk! But Hawaii sounds worth it! It is funny, because one of the 1st things I thought about just prior to finishing writing was, “How does someone do this on those long trips over seas?” I just had a good friend move to China for her husbands job and she flew over there all by herself with her 2 year old! I am CERTAIN it was a LONG trip! If you can do 2-6 hours in a car, I bet 5 1/2 hours on a plane will be a breeze???? Good Luck! Thanks for your comment!
Oh Katie I loved this one! Laughed my head off….it is all so true & on point! Did I ever tell you about my flight with Jenna to NYC last summer to visit Robyn? We were on the way home, stinky sleeping dude in our window seat forcing us to sit in the middle & aisle seats, when we hit turbulance so bad I think I’m about to vomit. The flight attendants dive into seats bc the seatbelt sign is lit up & I’m thinking “ok hold it together….if you panic, Jenna will too…..” & out of Jenna’s mouth comes “HEY! What happened to the drink cart? I wanted my snack!!!”
Just when you think you have kids figured out….
Goes to show you how important snacks are! Ha! Turbulence? What’s that more than just a little bump and shake to a kid who knows no difference! Thanks for the laugh
P.S. Do we ever have our kids figured out????
I have flown 5 times with my 10 month old son (3 times without my husband), the first time at 4 weeks old. I know that things have gone smoothly largely because he was so young. However, I am dreading a 5 hr flight to Seattle this summer when he is 14 months. And once we arrive, there is a 3 hr time difference - yikes! Then this upcoming fall when he is 17 months, we’re flying to Europe. I hope it’s worth it!
I will be interested in hearing if there is a difference between flying with a 14-month-old and flying with a 17-month-old? They change so quickly at this age! I am betting 17 months is going to be the harder, more squiggly age… The one thing I have heard is that the international flight definitely have more “leg room” on them. The hardest part, in my mind, is that at such a young age most kids don’t have the attention span to make activities last a while. I would LOVE to hear from others on how they have handled international travel with little ones! Thanks for your comment Abby!
I kept meaning to comment on this one!! We flew to Greece when E was 15 months old…and we were THOSE people with the screaming toddler for 2 hours in the middle of the night (it just happened that on a completely dark plane, the only light/noise was coming from the students right behind us playing cards and drinking beer which kept her awake). Despite that (and not having our luggage for almost 3 days after arriving!), I still say it’s SO worth it!
Overall, we’ve been lucky, though. We did a ton of flying when E was little, and with that one exception, she is a great traveler (when she was 2 she literally entertained herself for an entire 5 hour flight with the safety card, online magazine, and airmall catalog). The first time I flew with both kids alone (E was 3 and Q 7 months) I was petrified…but it was all okay.
For me, though, I think it’s just a lot of stress on the parent(s)…you just have to be “on” all the time, using all of your creativity and energy to keep them happy, all during a time when you’re probably tired to begin with getting everything ready for the trip! When you’re flying, you have the added pressure of feeling like everyone is hearing/watching you, and any little noise/scream/discontent seems magnified and embarrassing (whereas when you’re driving, it’s MUCH longer, but the chaos is private !). It’s definitely hardest when they are little, too….I think 12-18 months is the hardest because they are mobile, squirmy, less likely to sleep, and inquisitive, but you just can’t reason with them.
Bottom line…it’s hard, no matter how you do it, it’s not easy, but I always try to stay calm by reminding myself that it’s only X # of hours of my life, but that the experience of the trip (and note, I say trip when I refer to traveling with kids, NOT vacation!!) and the memories will be part of your lives forever.
Love this statement Sara:
That to me is the biggest difference between flying and driving! I can’t even imagine flying over night with a 15 month old! Also love what you said here:
because there definitely is a difference between a “trip” and a “vacation!” Thank you SO much for your insight!