News Flash!
We are interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking news!
Reporting to you LIVE from the top of the stairs is… my middle child – here to tell you all about …
How-his-big-sister-just-kicked-him-out-of-her-room-in-the-middle-of-afternoon-reading-time.
AND
How-it-wasn’t-fair …
AND
How-she-is-being-SO-mean…
AND
How-it’s-“JUST-NOT-FAIR-mom! She-WON’T-let-me-into-her-room!”
Or, whatever else my middle child might have said… because, if I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times - the big “headline” story, straight from the tattler’s mouth.
A Million Tiny Reporters
What comforts me is that I’m not alone. I am strangely reassured that my middle son is not obsessed with tattling abnormal, because:
- My oldest child does it.
- The neighbor’s kids do it.
- The random kids at the park do it.
- ALL the kids at my daughter’s school do it.
- I’m sure I did it
many timesat one time when I was a kid. (I know my sisters did it!) - In fact, even my 18 month-old son does it!
Every. Kid. I’ve ever known. EVER. Tattles.
Yep.
Some, even tattle MORE (maybe?) than my 5-year-old middle son!
So, here’s my question: If most every kid, everywhere, has at one time or another tattled, why is it that I still struggle with how to deal with this issue as a parent?
You would think, since parents everywhere have tiny in-house “staff” reporters, that there would be an award-winning, problem solving, tried and true solution to help stop the “tabloid” chatter amongst children everywhere. Right?
Silencing the Child Informant “Reporter”
There have been some ridiculous reportings during our family’s “news flashes,” such as:
“Mooooooommmm! Big sis just pulled a strand of hair from my head!”
— OR—
“Mooooooommmm! Little brother just took my kleenex!”
???
Yet sometimes there has been some important news delivered too, like:
“Mooooooommmm! The baby just climb out of his crib and took my pencil!”
(Um-mm… REALLY???)
And all these “reportings” just lead me to MORE parenting questions such as:
- How do we teach our kids which “news stories to report” and which are best kept to themselves?
- How do we coach our children to be more self sufficient when dealing with conflict?
- How do we, as parents, respond to our child when their “reports” get out of control?
In fact, as I am writing this post, in the background my daughter is saying:
“Ouch! Mooooommm! My brother just hit me!”
Now, on one hand, we DO NOT approve of hitting. But on the other hand… really??? Do I even respond? She’s perfectly fine, and they are playing legos 2 minutes later as I finish typing this sentence.
(FYI, I chose to ignore the tattle and instead just gave my 8-year-old daughter a look like “You can deal with this yourself, RIGHT?“)
I am good at ignoring the tattles. I am also pretty good at dealing with the tattles that I feel require a response. What I am not so good with is stopping the tattles.
A Journalist in the Making?
A good reporter has a code of ethics, an understanding of objectivity and an avoidance of sensationalism.
A good reporter should also have outstanding credibility.
Credibility - could this be the key to curbing my kids tattles?
Maybe, if I take notice to the tattles that are credible and important and choose to ignore (or at least show less priority to) the “sensationalized reports,” I can help teach my children what’s more important. But I am open to other ideas…???
News Flash!
We are interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking news!
Reporting to you LIVE from my home office… is me, the mom – here to tell you …
There are so many things I still don’t get as a parent.
—
Leave a comment. What is the most ridiculous thing your child has ever tattled about? How do you deal with tattling and work at teaching your kids the difference between when to tell and when to try to deal with a situation themselves?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Kate, this is an outstanding post! I LOVE IT!! It is so true, children are a million little reporters and as a mom and an adult (I should be the more mature one) I still struggle with how to handle it all.
My sister is a kindergarten teacher and every year she displays a poster of a key leader (usually the president of the U.S.). Each time a student comes to her to tattle, my sister listens and then tells the student to go talk with the president about it. (She does listen to make sure everyone is safe).
Sometimes I have to ignore my 4 year old if she just won’t stop, but most often I try to listen and say “okay” and then tell her to keep playing. My 4 year old teases her 2 year old sister “Are you going to bite me?” and then runs off to say her sister was about to bite her. There’s no easy solution, is there?
Reading this post helps me to know I am not alone! So thank you!!
Love it >>> “Go talk to the President.”
That is a great idea! I may steal it
Thanks for sharing Kim!
No middle child here, but our neighbors have one. The girls are 13, 15, and 17. The 15 year-old knows ALL. Who is where, who did what, when the mail came, who in the neighborhood is home. Her mom said she just doesn’t even pay attention to her anymore (when she’s tattling on her sisters) because she’d go nuts.
Hmmm… I’m sensing a reoccurring theme here… could it be birth order related? And apparently (since my oldest is only I have a WAYS to go before the tattling calms down? Ugh!