Note: Monday, October 10th is International Mothers’ Center Day? Did you know there are hundreds of Mothers’ Centers currently existing in 15 countries around the world? Our international network is facilitated by mine: Mother Centers International Network for Empowerment. To help bring awareness to this celebrated day, I was inspired to write more about the importance of expanding our own stories.
~
“The world is a great book, of which they that never stir from home read only a page.”
~ St. Augustine of Hippo
As a child, I had always wanted to explore the wider world - to see what life could be like elsewhere.
And at 22, after graduating from college, I did just that. I landed an internship in London, England where I lived and worked for a portion of the year.
I secured a passport and moved into a little English flat on a small timeless street just blocks away from the hustle and bustle of one of London’s busiest roads.
And for the first time ever, my vision expanded beyond the confines of American soil and my childhood within the smaller-sized city in which I was raised.
Up until that point, I had been limited to the single story of only my own experiences. And really, all I was acquainted with was my teeny, tiny world that was surrounded by people I already knew, places I’d already been, and things that were already familiar to me.
And what I have come to realize through my experience abroad and other experiences is: there is a certain danger to a single story.
The Importance of a Story
A story, YOUR story and others’ stories have much more importance than one might initially believe.
As mothers, we have the extraordinary ability to often second guess ourselves and our decisions. (At least I do!) I find that when I learn from other mothers by listening to their stories, I am better able to filter their advice as it might specifically relate to me.
But stories have another importance beyond just helping us mothers to personally filter advice.
Stories can open our eyes to new experiences.
Stories can help us to see a bigger picture.
And ultimately, stories can help us to grow as women, mothers, and parents.
Yet all too often we don’t allow ourselves to open up to other peoples’ experiences.
Maybe we don’t agree with them. Maybe we don’t think they made good decisions. Maybe we don’t particularly understand their story. So we don’t allow ourselves to listen to their stories and we only hear our own.
And the problem with sticking to only your own story, your own experiences, and your own small life’s book, is that your experience. Stops. There.
It just ends.
Yep, done. Over. And you’re left with just one small segment of a story which, in reality, truly has a much bigger picture.
Single stories are dangerous because they can:
- Produce stereotypes (by making one story become the only story)
- Create impressions (that may or may not always be true)
- Make you vulnerable (because a single story can rarely contain a complete story)
Single stories are just that - one story out of a million others yet to be told and yet to have been heard. And I believe there is great danger in this - a danger from the single story picture.
Expanding your Stories with a Bigger Picture
Just like my young, 22-year-old internationally-traveling-self once did, I still need to expand my experiences now.
As a not-so-young, less-internationally-exposed, mother-of-three that doesn’t get to explore the vast world nearly as much as she would like to these days, I have to work hard to expand my single story in other ways by reading and listening to other mothers’ stories.
This blog is often the ongoing saga story of my own life as a mother. Sort-of like a diary of my thoughts, my insights, and my parenting mistakes and accomplishments.
Have you ever connected with any of my stories?
Have my stories ever made you contemplate your stance on a topic?
Have you ever finished reading one of my stories and thought, “OK, I will NOT make that same bad decision.”
Great! If so, you just “learned” from my story. You just opened your exposure to one more idea. And I am flattered to have made an impression.
But hey, don’t stop there!
Don’t stop with my story. Don’t stop with your story. Continue to seek out new stories.
Fill your own life’s book with as many stories as you possibly can!
Because with each story we hear, we can continue to shape ourselves and expand our visions beyond our normal life confines.
The Story Doesn’t End Here…
Next week (as the Mothers Central blog continues to highlight International Mothers Center Day) I am excited to introduce you to two more amazing mothers living with their families abroad, who just may help us to expand our own stories as mothers.
And today, I have yet one more story to leave you with via video (a video that went a long way towards inspiring this post and that I found while reading - shock! - another mother’s story!)
This is a tale from novelist Chimamanda Adichie who shares her account of how she found her authentic cultural voice. Just another amazing story and clear reminder of the danger of any single story.
Leave a Comment. Do you ever find that you failed to realize a full story or bigger picture until much later? What stories do you remember having left a big impression on you? And was Chimamanda’s story as eye opening to you as it was to me?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I find that ALL THE TIME. Sometimes you’re so caught up in your part in something, it’s easy to overlook the big picture. I’m trying to be more self-aware, though, so avoid misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings… now THAT is something I could write a whole other post on Missy!
And just one more reason why making a conscious effort to listen and really hear other people’s stories is SO important.
Kate,
thank you for your kind words on my blog. I love that this inspired you and I love this post.
Thinking about our stories and appreciating that the single stories we do hear do not represent the whole story is so important.
Fantastic!
Theresa
Thank YOU Theresa for inspiring me both with your post and the introduction to Chimamanda’s story via the TED video. They both really hit a “home run” with me. I hope that by continuing both to introduce my story, your story, Chimamanda’s story - and by encouraging others to share their own stories - that this idea of the “danger of a single story” will gain momentum! I look forward to continuing to read your stories!
Fatastic post! We are talking about the importance of sharing, listening and learning from our past stories over the past weeks of Sunday school. I am going to read portions of your post to them.
Great Sheila! I’m so glad you will continue to share my stories
And what a wonderful concept to cover within your classes!
Wow, I COMPLETELY relate to this post. My time in London changed my life so much for the better, and I am so grateful for it. Even though I also have no prospects of moving back anytime soon or embarking on any world travel, I carry the main lesson of the experience with me - to be open to new things and get out of my comfort zone every once in a while.
And I LOVE that picture of you in your flat above the button shop. Does it get any better than that?
No - it doesn’t get much better then that - especially when you are only 22! Glad you enjoyed the photo of my flat in London. I always love going through the old photos… (You know? The old photos that you actually have to scan in because they aren’t digital? The old photos which - when you took them - you couldn’t look at and retake if they didn’t turn out right because in order to see what they looked like you actually had to get them printed?!! Those were the days!)
Wow, there is SO MUCH food for thought in this post. I think this is one of the things I love about blogging-connecting to so many other people, and enriching my single story through theirs.
-Cath
Thanks Cath. There was a lot of “food for thought” in this one post
So much so that I wondered if I should break it up into two parts?! Hope you got a chance to watch the video at the end. It is a little long - but so WORTH it! Thanks for stopping over here!