Note: This is the 2nd post of a two-post series (the 1st is here!) to help bring awareness to International Mothers’ Center Day (celebrated on Monday, October 10th). In honor of this event, I was inspired to discuss international living with two Mothers’ Center members who recently moved abroad with their families.
What would you do if given the opportunity to move your family overseas - to a new culture, with a new language and a brand new lifestyle experience?
Would you do it? Could you do it?
Lately, due to job transfers and new career opportunities, two of my close friends have packed up their families and headed overseas for a new life and home as expatriates.
Motherhood can be hard enough without also having to leave friends and family, learn new languages, and start out new halfway across the world.
Yet wouldn’t it be amazing to be able to expose your own family to a new and different culture?
- What would a day in their lives as expat mothers be like?
- What struggles and challenges would they face?
- What new stories and life lessons would they (and their families) return home with?
I was curious… are’t you? So I asked.
Meet Katherine & Kim: An International Interview
Katherine: 2 kids (ages 3 & 8 months), originally from Utah, currently living in Shanghai, China
Kim: 2 kids (ages 6 & 8), originally from Michigan, currently living in Billericay, Essex in England
QUESTION: What is your typical day like?
Katherine (Shanghai, China): A typical day starts out with getting my 3 year old on the school bus by 7:15 am. I then have some time with my daughter before getting ready for the day. We are usually out the door running errands, exploring the city or going to playgroups until around noon - when I have to return home to get my son off the school bus. We eat lunch together, talk about our day, and then have nap time. After naps we play or go on walks until dinnertime. When daddy comes home from work we all hang out until bedtime arrives.
Kim (Billericay, Essex in England): Our day begins after I wake up, shower and make sure the kids are up on time. I get breakfast ready and prepare the kids with everything they need for school. We drive to school where I drop them off. I then typically spend my day running errands before I return to pick the kids up from their school. School is followed by homework, dinner, and finally fun time with dad. The day typically ends with showers and our other bedtime routines.
QUESTION: What took you by surprise or caught you off guard about the new country you call home?
Katherine (Shanghai, China): I have been surprised by how happy the people are here. Most people in Shanghai live on very little, but are (surprisingly?) happy as can be. That is something to be proud of. (And maybe something to learn from?) Some other differences that caught me off guard include lack of personal space, convenience and language. Because Shanghai is a HUGE city, respect for other people’s space is lacking and there seems to be no such thing as patiently waiting in line. Additionally the one-stop grocery stores do not exist, and the language is soooo incredibly different (both to speak and read).
Kim (Billericay, Essex in England): Most of the big things, I was prepared for. It’s the little things that surprised me the most. For example, our clothes dryer has a “condensation container” to collect water that needs emptied every few loads (because dryers over here are not vented to the outside of the house). Other differences I notice in the United Kingdom verses the United States is (of course!) driving on the left side of the road, having formal school uniforms for the kids, and the extremely high behavior expectations that everyone seems to place on little children. Already, I see my kids becoming more responsible and respectful - because of these higher expectations that are in place at my children’s local British school.
QUESTION: What is your biggest challenge parenting in a different country?
Katherine (Shanghai, China): Safety. The most challenging thing for me is knowing what is safe for my children. China is often known for their lack of safety regulations in regard to food. We struggled for months over things like which milk to drink and ultimately chose UHT milk (boxed milk) over local milk because it is imported from Germany or New Zealand. Vaccines have also stopped being imported into the international hospitals in China and so in order for my daughter (who was born here) to be vaccinated, we have to fly to Hong Kong so she can get “safe” vaccines.
Kim (Billericay, Essex in England): Trying to keep the kids connected to family back in the states while trying to get them to think of this as “home” has been my biggest challenge. As a person who has never really experienced “homesickness” - this is an interesting task. So far, I haven’t had second thoughts or regrets on our decision to move so far away from our extended families, but it has only been a short time since we’ve been here too, and I’m sure there will be days when being away from our family back home will be harder than others.
It’s a Small, Small World
When I try to envision myself and my family picking up and moving it sounds both exciting AND scary. (Especially considering how challenging just a plane flight to Florida can be for our family of five.)
But every mother has their story. Every person has their goals and aspirations. And every life can take a different turn as we navigate through all the winding roads we travel and paths we individually choose to take.
What would life be like living overseas? Kim and Katherine’s brief thoughts offer some insight into their stories as expatriate mothers. What would your story look like?
Would you do it? Could you do it?
Share your story! Have you ever lived overseas as a mother? If so what were your experiences? If not, would you ever consider picking up your family and starting a life overseas?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
My son was born in England. I have lived in many different places and cultures so I don’t think of anywhere as abroad. But the other day I picked him up from preschool and his teacher was telling me how much she loves listening to him talk, like when he says he will tidy everything up and pop it in the rubbish bin. And I think he was born to play soccer and drink tea.
That’s too funny Stasha
Sometimes it is the little things - such as one or two small words like “tidy” and “rubbish” that can sometimes highlight a child’s background. When I lived in England years ago, I remember feeling like my non-english accent and talk was SO apparent to all my English peers. Then, when I returned back to the states, I remember a noticeable difference between how I sounded and how my American friends spoke. Sometimes you pick things up unknowingly.
How wonderful that you have had been able to experience so many diverse cultures and it sounds as though your son is too!