NOTE: On Wednesday, November 14th, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers will be hosting a webinar entitled: The Ultimate Tool for Success - Emotional Intelligence. Imagine being able to go through life equipped with the ability to understand yourself and others and communicate effectively. It is this line (written in the webinar description) that caused me to reflect on the areas of my own life where better understanding and communication could help…
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“Imagine being able to go through life equipped with
the ability to understand yourself and others…”
Can you Imagine that?
Me… I might simplify that quote even further. Oftentimes, all I want to do is:
“Imagine being able to go through life equipped with
the ability to understand myself and my family.”
Forget everyone else!
I have to live with my family 24/7 … and sometimes I’ll admit, it can be a challenge.
Monday Morning Battle Cries
I switched on the bedroom lights and was met by the disgruntled, harsh face of my 1st grader - his eyes squinting as he readjusted them to the brightness of the room.
Why did I do that? I silently asked, a little bit annoyed with myself.
Usually I try to wake my son up slowly, by gently opening the blinds to ease him into the morning. However, this morning I was running late and in my rush to wake him up for school I had mistakenly bypassed that step.
My son looked ready to battle… I could tell we were off to a bad start.
A Day in the Life of a 6-year-old Soldier
Lately my 6-year-old has been challenging my parenting skills. We often don’t see eye to eye and it seems like my well-intended suggestions are constantly debated.
Not starting our morning off right has very obvious and apparent consequences. My son and I can quickly slip into the back and forth morning banter of:
What I want him to wear to school.
~ VS. ~
What he wants to wear to school.
(Rarely the same thing.)
Why he wants to play his Nintendo DS.
~ VS. ~
Why I won’t let him play his Nintendo DS.
(Duh! I never let him on a school morning!)
How loud his voice is.
~ VS. ~
How quiet I need his voice to be.
(In order to ensure his little brother stays asleep.)
You get the idea…
And our morning arguments routine… is just the starting point of my 1st grader’s daily drills. His normal school day is filled with loads of learning, friends, and seemingly endless activities. When he does eventually return home after a long day of school - the bus drops off one very tired and somewhat emotionally drained little soldier.
Tired and emotionally drained… this I get.
What I don’t completely understand, is how to effectively deal with his often inappropriate attitude.
- Timeouts
- Alternative behavioral solutions
- Hugs and kisses
I’ve tried all the “normal” avenues to curb disruptive behaviors which can potentially turn our home into a full blown battleground. Sometimes these actions work. More often I have been pushed to find new ways to relate to him.
Keeping our household’s peace is way easier said than done - especially when I too have gone through a busy and emotionally draining day. I want my children to know that I understand when they are tired and emotionally drained.
However, my understanding doesn’t make some of their actions and decisions appropriate.
Raising the White Flag?
Keeping my own patience (a challenge in itself!) and learning to be flexible are just a few of the many ways I have found to help increase the peace in our household. A gentle “wake-up call” on school mornings for my 1st Grader - is another.
Unfortunately this past Monday morning… I missed that step, forcing me to think quick in order to come up with a strategic counteraction to my unintentional battle cry.
“Good Morning!” I said brightly - trying to outshine the blinding light that had awoke him from his peaceful slumber. “Remember that Grandma and Grandpa slept over last night? Maybe after you get up and get ready, you can hang out with Grandpa and show him your new DS Game?”
His eyes adjusted to the light and brightened up a bit.
Yes, not our typical school morning regimen. But allowing myself to occasionally deviate from our standard morning procedure has its advantages. (Most notably short-term peace.)
Sometimes you have to pick and choose your battles to win the war. Right?
Leave a Comment: What solutions have you found to help keep your household peace? Do you allow yourself to break your own the rules in order to avoid a family battle?
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NAMC Webinars are Free to our Members
and open to non-members for a minimal fee.
I for one can’t wait to build my “peacekeeping skills” with our upcoming Emotional
Intelligence webinar. Learn more about our upcoming webinar schedule here.
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