“For the LAST time! Please. Stop. Tipping backwards on those chairs!”
This is one of those phrases that I say (way too many times a week) during mealtime that reminds me how much my life has changed since becoming a mother.
Lately, it seems I hear myself lecturing far more than listening during our family dinners together.
I realize (and often remind myself) that I have to pick and choose my battles in parenting (Yet, mark my words, one of these days my kids are going to fall over backwards in those chairs while tipping on them - it’s inevitable.)
However, in this case, I cut myself a little slack for my maybe somewhat unnecessary nag because it has been a LONG day, my patience is quickly diminishing, and often it can be hard for me to listen and not lecture during a time of exhaustion.
(I actually find it slightly humorous that as soon as my energy is beginning to wane for the day, my children’s energy always seems to be peaking.)
Our mealtime continues and (for the time being) all four legs on each chair around our table seem to have found their spots securely on the floor.
Remembering to Talk
I’ve always felt strongly about encouraging family conversation at meals - even during those ages and stages where it seems difficult to enjoy meals together. So, in remembrance of its importance, I decide to work at changing the conversational subject (beyond that of unsafe chair-sitting) midway through our evening’s meal.
“How was school today?” I begin, looking directly at my oldest.
After a couple moments of “crickets chirping” (a.k.a. the sound of nothing) I become aware that maybe I should be more specific. So I rephrase my question and ask,
“How do you like 4th grade so far? What makes it different then 3rd?”
I slowly take a few bites of my meal to help build my energy level for the rest of the night, as a small conversation begins to spark.
It does feel slightly miraculous at times to be able to talk as a family around the dinner table. I relish these small conversational moments that seem harder and harder to come by. Our evening meals are often challenged by nighttime meetings, after school activities and my growing apathetic attitude towards cooking meals inability to always provide home-cooked meals in-between everything else that I try to fit into my day.
Sometimes, I’ll admit - we only have time for frozen pizza and/or fast food. But as much as I can, as hard as it can be, at varying times of the day (sometimes breakfast, sometimes driving to soccer practice) I try to remember to spark these short moments of family conversation.
Conversation Over.
My daughter continues speaking, excitedly sharing a few more highlights of her day when quite suddenly (and of course accidentally)…
Our middle son spills milk
that gushes across the dining table
and forms a white waterfall into her lap.
As my husband jumps up to grab the napkins, our oldest shoots her younger brother a slightly annoyed look and I race to grab a wet towel in an attempt to dab off the milk from her soccer shirt. (The shirt that she has to wear to the practice that begins in just 15 minutes!)
“But MOM! I can do it. Let ME do it!” My nearly 10-year-old exclaims, as I struggle to wipe every last remaining drop of milk from her shirt.
My wet rag falls beneath the dining table and I reach to pick it up, at the same time glancing over at my son’s chair - which stands on only two feet. I fight the urge to tip it over, just to prove a point <- OK, I wouldn’t do that, but the thought did briefly cross my mind.
Our 2-year-old starts to scream “All DONE! All DONE. AL-LLL DOO-NNNNE.” and throws his fork on the ground.
And he’s right.
For tonight, we’re all done.
But we’re trying. And I’ll keep trying. Because, be it breakfast, lunch or a car ride to soccer practice, every single small moment together - learning to listen and talk as a family - is important. Even amongst the exhaustion, temper tantrums and tipping chairs… Right?
Leave a Comment: What does dinnertime look like at your house?
~
Did you enjoy this post?
Never miss a post! Consider subscribing via email and also help us spread the word
about the NAMC by sharing this post with other mothers.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
At least your kids are sitting!! I can’t get mine to stay seated thru an entire meal. I’m thinking about seatbelts???
Sitting… BUT tipping!
Our booster for our 2-year-old does thankfully have a seat belt which we TOTALLY use!