The Mothers’ Center of Greater Toledo hosts quarterly gatherings called “speed-friending.” This is an activity where moms get the opportunity to meet other moms via an ice breaker game (similar to “speed-dating” - just with friends). Are you interested in meeting other moms? Learn more about the Mothers’ Center culture by downloading and reading our new Center Start-up Guide here!
Meeting new friends at the Mothers’ Center of Greater Toledo.
Photo Credit: Whitney Brennan Studios
~
The bell rang loudly, and simultaneously I heard someone kindly shout from the corner of the room:
“OK ladies. Move on!”
So I did - still a little hesitant in my progress.
It was Thursday morning and I was busy…
Busy making friends.
~
Prior to having my daughter I always felt I had tons of friends, however, friendships seemed to very quickly readjust after:
- Leaving my job in advertising,
- Being one of the 1st in my group of friends to start a family, and (most importantly)
- My increasingly intense desire to spend any extra hour I did have as a new mom catching up on much-needed sleep.
Friends? Who needed friends? Not this Mom! (At least I tried to somewhat unsuccessfully re-assure myself of this at the very beginning of motherhood…)
The Hidden Benefits of Friendship
However, here I was - beyond that now - making friends by the “ding of a bell.”
“Go-on, keep on Moving!” the warm voice called, forcing me up to the next group of chairs.
~
Looking back, I wish that I had known then (as a brand new mom) what I knew now about friendship and motherhood. If I had, I surely would have started seeking out new friendships sooner.
The truth is, I now realize:
- Friends can teach me way more about myself and parenting than any self-help book.
- Friends can be a great tool to get me through the isolation that motherhood sometimes brings.
- And, (most importantly for me) spending even small amounts of time with a friend seems to have a direct and positive correlation with maintaining my sanity as a parent.
The reality of it is, having a network of friends is often as close as I can come to having any type of “motherhood manual.”
For the Love of “Speed-Friending”
The morning eventually nears its end. The bell rings for the last time and I glance around the room - mentally making a note to remember the name of the mother to my left who is also having an issue with her son’s nap time.
When all is said and done, I have met over a dozen new mothers during this activity called “speed-friending,” led by my own local Mothers’ Center (It’s just like speed dating, but with friends!)
Sure, this process pushes me outside my comfort zone, but sometimes, you need to be pushed out of your comfort zone.
~
Over the years, my friend-making skills have gotten rusty. One forgets how hard it can be to put yourself out there and establish a trust with others who haven’t known you all your life. Throughout my life I always had resources to help cultivate friendships:
- In college: my sorority
- In high school: sports
- In middle school: homeroom
- In elementary school: my neighbors
In motherhood though, what did I have to help build relationships and friends?
It turns out I have one of the greatest resources yet…
I have a band of mothers, who just like me, know and recognized the challenges and struggles of parenting. Finding a group of mothers gave me a safe, comfortable space to go and talk openly about the joys, the frustrations and the challenges that motherhood can bring. And eventually, finding a group of mothers gave me… the priceless gift of friendships.
I have a sisterhood. A sisterhood of mothers through my local Mothers’ Center - a unique group whose culture is set up to provide a welcoming environment for all mothers.
For me personally… I needed this. I needed this more then I would have liked to admit.
Leave a Comment: Where do you find your friendships in motherhood? How important of a roll do you believe that friendships play in parenting?
~
Did you enjoy this post?
Never miss a post! Consider subscribing via email and also help us spread the word
about the NAMC by sharing this post with other mothers.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s been a lifesaver for me. Or as my husband would say “for us”. The MC of Greater Toledo is made up of amazing women who come in and out and I cherish all the friendships I have from it and the ones I hope to continue to make. Cheers to the “Sisterhood”!
Jen - I think my husband might say the same thing of MC -> “It’s been a lifesaver ‘for us.’“
Joining MC of Greater Toledo was one of the best things I’ve ever done. It allowed me to see that I wasn’t alone in some of my feelings and/or struggles as a new Mom. Which just confirms my belief that it really does take a village
I most definitely takes a village Tatum!
I agree completely that this group has been a life saver for me. I have met some of the best friends I could ever have because a smart woman made me go to a meeting. I cannot imagine where my life would be without their support and love.
I wish I would have joined earlier Kori. I didn’t begin attending Mother’s Center meetings until my oldest was already 2. I could have used the support much sooner! So glad I did eventually find my MC though…