NOTE: On Thursday, September 20th, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers will be hosting a webinar by Educator and Parent Coach Erika Stroh as part of the NAMC Webinar Series entitled: Have You Filled Your Bucket Today? This webinar aims to show parents how to teach their children to fill their own emotional buckets in order to help build self-esteem and self worth. It is this topic that caused me to reflect on how I keep my own “invisible bucket” filled with positive energy.
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“You rocked it!!! THANKS!” Said the incoming text message on my phone.
I smiled and felt proud reading that text as I walked out to my parked car, taking a deep breath of relief that the morning’s experience was over.
I had just stepped entirely out of my own comfort zone to film a live, 4-minute segment on a local morning news show to help promote my Mothers’ Center’s upcoming open house.
I have been know as a writer, a graphic artist, a friend, a wife, a teacher, occasionally a leader, and (more often) a mom. I am fairly comfortable being recognized by these many different names and in fulfilling so many different rolls. However, let it be known that I am NOT comfortable in front of the camera.
- Yet, no one else from my local Mothers’ Center could do the interview.
- It was a great opportunity for our center to reach new mothers.
- And it was wonderful exposure for our upcoming fall open house.
So when asked, I hesitantly said “yes” to traveling to the station’s studios for the interview and subsequently regretted it.
Prior to the interview I’ll admit that mentally and emotionally I was: nervous, scared, worried that I’d say the wrong thing, not certain what to expect and just a tad overwhelmed.
And afterwards, sitting in my car, with the interview behind me and more texts and Facebook messages pouring in expressing thanks, gratitude and a job well done, I was proud - proud that I had been forced out of my comfort zone to “take one for the team.”
It felt good to be recognized and told that I had “rocked it!!!” ( from friends and family because…
That isn’t always the case.
Any Given Day
A typical day in my life looks a little closer to this:
- Wake up self. Bathe self. Feed self.
- Wake up three kids. Bathe three kids. Feed three kids.
- Make sure everyone gets where they need to be (including self).
- Make sure everyone gets done what needs to be done (including self).
- Along the way try to keep the house clean, the laundry done, and the bills paid.
My typical day is NOT in front of a television camera, it is with my kids. And the work I do with my children can be just as hard and as stressful (if not more) then stepping out of my comfort zone in front of cameras.
During those crazy days in parenting when nothing seems to be going right, when being “on time” feels like an unreachable goal, and when every. single. household member has a temper tantrum (including self), it would be nice to hear someone remind me that as a mother:
I ROCKED it!
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Slowly, I drove out of the television station’s parking lot. Thoughts of parenting challenges and personal challenges stumbled around in my head when suddenly…
BAAM!
It hit me.
Why was I relying on others to validate my own job done well? (In parenting or anything else?)
Maybe I should hold myself more accountable for building my self-esteem and sense of self-worth? Sure, a sincere compliment, a smile, a thank you from someone else feels good…
But maybe what’s more important, is just to remember more often to tell myself:
“You ROCKED it!”
Leave a Comment: Do you rely too much on others to help you feel validated as a parent and/or professionally? When was the last time you gave yourself a compliment for a job well done?
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
You did rock it!
Thank you!
congratulations Kate. I did not see the show but the insightful post I just read read rocked too. well done…yes you are right.we need more self approval. Approval from others helps us fill out our ability to self approve.but self approval is our real gift to ourselves.. Self criticism we don’t need much help with. It’s almost always there lurking at us especially when we are actively mothering young children.
Wonderful post thanks.
So true Lorri. It is so easy to be self critical and so hard to give self approval. There is a very fine line between modesty and over being critical when it comes to self image I think…