“Sorry officer, I know I was speeding…”
This is the first thing that comes out of your mouth. But silently to yourself, you are really thinking:
“Please give me a warning. PLEEZZE. I promise, promise, PROMISE to slow down. I will never go past the speed limit again. Can’t you see I have a screaming baby and 2 other crabby children who are now definitely going to be late to a birthday party? What’s worse is I, their mother, am feeling panicked, incredibly guilty and overly emotional!”
But you don’t say this out loud. Instead you just try to compose yourself and keep the tears of embarrassment from flowing.
Says the officer as he looks down at you with a frown, “Do you realize you were going 37 mph in a 25 mph residential zone?”
————-
Everyone hates getting a speeding ticket. But sometimes you need one to remind yourself to slow down and take a look at your surroundings.
What’s most interesting to me about slowing down, is the massive difference in a child’s perspective on time versus an adult’s perspective.
A Race to the Finish Line
My son is soon to be five. And every day, for the past 2 weeks (since he realized that his birthday was around the corner) we have the same question and answer session. It goes something like this:
Son: I’m going to be 5 soon, right? How long until my birthday?
Me: About a month.
Son: How long is a month?
Me: 4 weeks.
Son: So does that mean my birthday is soon?
Me: Well, pretty close, about 30 days. (To myself: Didn’t I already answer this question?)
Son: How long is 30 days?
Me: About a month.
… and so on, and so forth!
For a child, time seems to take FORever. Even five minutes can seem like a century. Children seem to constantly be looking forward to their next BIG endeavor. In my son’s case, the next “big thing” is his 5th birthday.
This is a perfect example of why children (among other obvious reasons) shouldn’t drive. Everything is a race to finish line!
Crash and Burn
In comparison, as an adult and a parent, we start getting “hit hard” by the reality of time. Often, the comprehension of time and how quick it is, comes crashing into us after becoming a parent.
For example, occasionally I start to tear up when I look at my 17-month-old.
Why? Because it can be hard to look at my youngest child and not think of my oldest.
I think of my oldest and envision her when she was only a baby. Now an 8-year-old, my oldest is inching up in height and preparing to move on to third grade. She’s so independent and mature.
What happened? How did I get to be the mother of an 8-year-old? Where did my baby go?
A Fork in the Road
To further hit home on this point, I recently overheard a group of mothers discussing their children’s ages and one mother said,
“You know, at age nine, kids are halfway to leaving home.”
Silence…
LONG Pause…
WHAT?!? (I screamed silently after hearing this!)
This statement hit me like a freight train.
CRASH! POW! BANG!
Leaving home??? I can’t even comprehend one of my kids not living with me. I’m still changing diapers, reading them books and arguing with them to put their toys away!
Going to college? Finding a career? Discovering love? These are forks in the road ahead for myself and my children that I had not - until now - really thought about.
This disturbing revelation has left its mark on me. A mark that no “body shop” could repair.
Just another reminder to me to slow down, because life is moving WAY too fast.
Buckle Up and Enjoy the Ride?
Time does not stand still, but seems to continue building momentum as you drive through life. The only way to somewhat “lock” time up is to capture the memories in a picture.
Yet photos only allow you to hold onto moments, they don’t stop time.
So I guess we should embrace time. Right? Enjoy our time. And work at slowing down so we don’t miss special moments.
Running on “E”
Just like running out of gas on the highway (which ALWAYS seems to happen while 30 miles away from the nearest gas station!), the reminder to slow down in life NEVER seems to be subtle.
The other day my daughter missed a party. I was working. My life, at this time, was very fast paced. It was 3 hours after the end of the party and suddenly, I realized that we had completely forgot about it!
I FORGOT. to take. her to. the party.
The party we RSVP’ed for. The party she was looking forward to. The party all her school friends would be at.
BAD MOMMY?
Maybe? No…
(Although it sure felt like it when I called to apologize to the mother hosting the party!)
OVERWHELMED MOMMY?
Well, yes.
Yet another reminder to…
STOP.
Slow down.
Because sometimes we need to be pulled over. Sometimes (maybe more often than we think?) we deserve a speeding ticket and a clear (and embarrassing) reminder that we need to slow down, take a breath and look at our surroundings.
If we don’t slow down, one of these days we’re going to miss something important. Something much more important than a party.
Leave a comment. How have you been reminded to slow down? How do you work to “embrace time.” Have you ever missed a moment because you were driving at high speed and forgot to look at your surroundings?
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Another great post. Just taking a walk with my toddler reminds me to slow down. We stop and look at E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. At first it’s a little irritating, then I start to calm down, realize we’re not a hurry and wander along. By the way, I have a niece and nephew who are almost 11. I met my future husband when I was 19, and he was 17. That’s a scary thought to think something that momentous could possibly be just a few years away for them!
I agree! A walk with a toddler definitely is a firm and obvious sign to “slow down!” Not to mention how it fun it is to recall how curious toddlers are on walks. How everything is so new to them through their eyes. Oh, and your right! It is very scary to compare stages to ages and see, in the grand scheme of things, just how close the little ones we know are to growing up. Thanks for sharing Kate.
My baby starts kindergarten this fall, KINDERGARTEN. How did that happen?!! It seems like just yesterday I was rocking her to sleep in the middle of the night in a sleep deprived haze wondering how on earth I would function at work the next day. Those first few months were a combination of just praying I’d make it through the day/night and the excitement of watching her reach milestone after milestone. Fast forward five years and I’m in complete awe (and a little bit of denial) at just how fast those milestones keep coming!
We’re normally a very active family running from activity to activity and family event to family event. However, last Saturday we spent the ENTIRE day at home. Watching home movies (the day she was born really drove home how fast it’s all gone
sniff, sniff!) playing outside, just enjoying the little things and being together as a family.
It was a great reminder that sometimes less is more
You are so right… sometimes less IS more! Absolutely love that statement Tatum.
When my daughter started Kindergarten, I remember this being one of those times that I was really hit hard with the idea of how quickly time flies. In fact I often catch myself currently
complainingsaying to other parents how I am going to be a parent at my children’s current elementary school FOR-EVER because of the 3 1/2 year age gap between each of our children. (My youngest will be in Kindergarten when my oldest is in 7th grade.) But the other way to look at this is that I might actually be lucky… think how quickly elementary school will seem to go for parents who have kids back to back?… Maybe the age gap will give me more time to get used to transitions before my youngest moves out of elementary school??? Hmmm… don’t think so… but maybe????Now that my daughters are grown, we’ve had several conversations about what was memorable to them as they grew up. Most of the things were everyday things that for one reason or another had either a profound impact or stuck out in their memory. I found that planned vacations and out-of-the ordinary experiences, where we took care to choose activities that we thought would be “special” and “memorable” didn’t always turn out to be the times that lasted were significant for them. Often it was the everyday events, routines and rituals that stuck with them. It was a clear reminder that stopping to enjoy and share the small pleasures, and doing and sharing the joy of everyday things more intentionally made the biggest difference in the end.
Interesting observation Linda! That does seem to make sense… everyday events, routines, rituals… kids do these things over and over. I would have to agree as I think back to events I remember from my childhood. When it comes to out-of-the-ordinary experiences and vacations, I really have to think hard to recall specific vacation details… the only vacations that ever seem to stand out in great detail are our family trips to Florida, most likely because we went to the same place over and over again and STILL visit there!
This is such a poignant post. A reminder I definitely needed today
Thanks Nicole! I need a daily dose of a “slow down reminder” every day.
Glad you enjoyed the post.
Oh, ho. Oh, boy. And yes. I did a post a few weeks ago on getting pulled over WITH my teenage son in the car.
Slow down is RIGHT. Our kids are watching. Can’t preach if you’re in the glass house.
OMG! My daughter is 9 and your comment about children of that age being halfway along the road to leaving home has filled me with anxiety! I’m finding solace in the fact that Gen Y kids stayed living at home for longer… hopefully this bunch will too. *fingers crossed*
I know Cecilia! When someone said that comment to me:
it really just stopped me in my tracks! I try so hard not to think about how fast time flies and enjoy the moments as they happen. *fingers crossed* for living at home longer