Do you know what time it is?
I do - or more precisely, my 5-year-old does - because over the holidays he got his first digital watch left by Santa in his stocking.
Shortly after receiving the watch, my husband and I began being bombarded by our son continually asking us: “Do you know what time it is?” It took us a couple instances to realize that he didn’t want us to answer with the time and instead wanted us to say: “No?! What time IS it?” so that he could quickly look down at his new watch to tell us Exactly. What. Time it was.
After a while it became the running family joke… someone would ask what time it was and myself or my husband would shout out for our middle son.
The excitement in his eyes that a.) he actually knew the current time, b.) he could be helpful, and c.) he could use his newest obsession present without relying on adult supervision is hard to fully explain in writing.
As the middle child, I think he sometimes feels as though he can never know quite as much as his older sister and is often “out-staged” by his baby brother. However, little does he know how many life lessons he has actually taught me that I could have never learned from anyone else.
Life Lesson #1: A Heart is Expandable
Before my son was born, all I knew was my daughter. She was my pride, my joy and my obsession.
So much so, that my biggest fear with my unborn 2nd child was not the pending pain of birth… or the soon-to-be sleepless nights… NO! Instead my monumental fear was that I would not be able to love another child nearly as much as my 1st child.
And this fear… well, it haunted me.
Like a ghost it would loom over me and follow me through the days and nights counting down to my 2nd child’s arrival. What would I do with a boy? Would my heart have as much room for him as my daughter? It was hard to imagine it ever could.
But my son defied every apprehension that I had and quickly found his own spot in my newly expandable heart.
My son taught me like no other person could have, that my heart has way more room in it than I would have ever imagined.
Life Lesson #2: The Disguise of Exhaust
We all know that when a child is tired, they can say and do some pretty crazy things. Sleep - getting enough sleep - is important for children. But it took my son’s arrival (and a few years of having multiple kids under my belt) for me to really see how important sleep was for myself.
I’ve always worked professionally outside of my roll as a parent, but when I had two children, working from home became very hard. Adjusting my work schedule to coordinate with two other kids’ schedules was much harder than it had been with only one child.
So when my son was around age two I started working at night. Late into the night.
So late, that sometimes I would only have only a few hours of sleep.
And it was bound to happen.
One morning - after a particularly late night working, a particularly sleepless night for my 2-year-old, and a particularly unhealthy night for my 5-year-old daughter (who woke up with a cold and couldn’t go to preschool that morning) - I found myself continually yelling.
Yelling because:
- my son had spilled his milk on the floor and was crying,
- my daughter had dressed herself in summer clothes in the middle of winter, and
- I was tired and really just needed a good night’s sleep.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw my reflection in the window of the kitchen door and was caught off guard by my own image.
I glanced back at my crazy, over-tired, crying son, and in that moment I saw myself in his eyes - with the same crazy, over-tired expression. And I realized that exhaustion can affect (gasp!) me just as much as it can affect my children.
My son inadvertently reminded me that exhaustion can put an indistinguishable disguise on anyone - myself included! - and also turn anyone into a “crazy person.” I learned that sleep needs to be a priority for more than just our kids.
Life Lesson #3: Time Doesn’t Need to be Scary
Yet the biggest life lesson that my son has taught me was just recently in the form of his newest obsession - his watch.
As I observed my middle son gallivanting around the house telling anyone (and everyone!) what time it was, all I could see was his joy and excitement over the minute by minute change of time. And this mental image surprisingly hit me like a brick, because lately I’ve felt a little hostile to change, age and time.
- It’s been hard not to notice how fast time goes by (I mean it’s 2012 already!?)
- I’m beginning to notice more and more how hard it is for me to adjust to change.
- And lately I’ve found myself really critical about my age.
Yet here is my son, reveling in time, absolutely showing no fear or hostility towards it.
And I thought to myself: maybe there is something to learn from that? Maybe time shouldn’t be so scary? Somewhere, between age 3 and 30(ish) for me time became way less exciting and more and more terrifying. Yet what good does it do to fear time?
As 2012 begins, I’ve resolved to remind myself of all the good things time has brought like:
- Love (and the ability to expand my heart)
- Knowledge (specifically of the necessity of sleep!)
- And the ability to embrace selflessness (because it is so much more rewarding and fun to want for others than to want for yourself)
Next time I am looking to learn something new in life, maybe I should look closer to home and, more specifically, at my middle child - because apparently (and unbeknownst to himself!), he has many lessons to teach!?
One of my son’s favorite gifts this holiday season was his watch. And in retrospect, my favorite gift has to be (by far) the gift of knowledge that my son continues to give me. So this post, is my Thank You note to him - some day I hope he will know how much he has given me…
Leave a Comment! Have you ever considered what life lessons your children have taught you?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Enjoyed your post! You have inspired me to stop…. and think….because, I’m sure if I do, I will find and acknowledge lessons that my three girls have taught, are teaching, and will teach to me. Here’s to that search and acknowledgement! Looking forward to future posts.
By writing this blog, it has forced me to do just that: stop…. and think. It is amazing how taking the time to ponder on your children and your experiences in motherhood can really be very eye opening and enlightening. So glad you enjoyed the post!